My fairy godmother

Written at Wednesday, December 31, 2008 | back to top

Sch reopen on this friday!! So fast and 2009 is reaching,just tmr(: LOLS! A new year and a new attitude to live and study~Start everything afresh,is it everyones' thinking? Anyway,I am nervous abt this year as I am afraid that I will still play,if that happen,I am dead.But still I will force myself to study..For my future and you knw~~~ If i could pass then I'll be able to go poly,study courses I like.I will not think abt not passing,cause if I study then it shld be no problem..You have to work hard to get the things you wan..Blogging is bored? Lesser things to talk abt..I'm just waiting for something nice...Gotta concentrate this whole year,no playing around..

Written at Monday, December 29, 2008 | back to top

Living in this big reality city indeed it's complicated..I started to realise you have to grab wadever chances which is infront of you..No one going to pity you,no one is really forever there to help and support you but maybe if there is (it's just kinda rare)..He is gone,ya,and most ppl avoid saying abt death...Someone called today and she was looking for my grandpa and I told her he's gone..It's so dramatic,I never thought wad feeling and scene it would be but today..Lols! Unexpected feeling and surprises~ Anyway it been a long time I had post,I had not much to say either..It's the same everyday and nothing changes but keep going on..So my posts are almost the same,I too get bored so I think those who read must be sleeping already! I rather it be a silent blog than a dead blog..No more means dead right? I am talking rubbish somehow cause I got nth to think and bother anymore...

Written at Monday, December 22, 2008 | back to top

'It's time to let go' he said.To me it seem that everyone is fine(including me)..But sometimes I still overheard them crying on the phone,telling others how miserable they felt.By hearing that,I thought why didn't she tell me hw she felt instead she told others abt it,saying that she counldn't tell anyone how hurtful it is..I felt that I am useless at that very moment..Once my grandpa told his friends that the pain is killing and he even thought of killing himself..I dun wan it to happen again and then we are the last to knw..It's like wad a family are for? When can she really tell me hw she felt inside..I hope and beg that she doesn't keep any secret or pain inside,I rather she cry and show it to us..Knwing nth and thought that everything are fine,I now think I'm an idiot! Why didn't i notice those little things they do? Careless or just dun bother~How long it's gonna take? Is it true or it's just a dream?
Are you trying to give me fake hope again but let me tell you,I'm not falling for the same trick!

Written at Friday, December 19, 2008 | back to top

Today going out with my uncles..Btw,my uncles are real young and not like wad you all think old ah pek! hahahs(: I dunno how will today be but still wishing for the best ..I could feel that I'm real happy with my result even though erm not prefect one..LOLS! I suddenly think of wad yesterday the person told me and I wonder why tell me? It's not my business anymore so I shall not wonder abt it anymore..But still hope everything is fine for him too,afterall we are still frens(; Life seem to break down into pieces and making it easier to live and learn..I am learning and that's wad I been living for..Even though I might not be living in the same world as you but I could still feel your sense..How to express that I'm missing you so much,more than I could even handle! Somebody help me~Just dun leave me alone anymore anyone..It's so tired seeing or deciding to leave or stay.You leave I saw your back,I leave I regret! That's the end I think of every sorrow..Starting from now ,new life,new elis I hope! Smiling ,smiling and just keep smiling.That's the phrase to start a life with..Just a little not too over you.hehehs

Written at Thursday, December 18, 2008 | back to top

Today went to take my result..I got 7 point but I think I didn't do my best.I am really happy I pass but one person will not be satisfied till they got prefect or maybe they will never be satisfied? Btw,this time round I did work hard for some but still didn't for the others so I wasn't really happy with myself..I am glad that I will be in the same class with steph again..I thought I am not able to..Anyway congrates to those who passes..Those who didn't really get well,think positive..Cause it's never the end,find something you are interested and work hard for it~ Believe you can do it,so that's all..I am not able to express wad i feel so pardon me if I said something wrong..Last,I wanna tell my grandpa that I pass,did you see it?? I sure you did..And i do miss you! Bye then,take care frens and everyone out there! (: Smile and never be angry with wad's the ending is..So just laugh and live..Gonna work hard next year..Welcome 2009~

Written at Wednesday, December 17, 2008 | back to top

Tmr will be a big day for me~ It the time to take my n-lvl result...As for how I feel,I am notreally scare yet I am..Happy yet sad..But still I got to see how well I did!! Hhahahs(: Today was a meaningful day but also a tiring one~ Packing and bonding at the same time..And ya,it's been a long time since we sister really pack our things together..It's not just packing,it's the process..Like singing,playing and laughing while packing..I think it's the best as you could pack and play at the same time~The result was not bad I think,our room look more neat and of course beautiful BUT there's still a little more to make it 'prefect'!! So we shall have a totally new look by this week I hope~ Btw,days passes and it's normal I could say..Nth much accept the missing part..But at least,I saw everyone changing to a better person,I think that's the most prefect gift we had did for our grandfather...Saying more reality,doesn't mean I am a bad person..Just to accept the fact earlier..So as to not regret later!! I hope the goods never end..Not temporary and it'll last forever if we believe~ I wonder wad new year will feel like..Dun be lonely,be happy for a new life...(: Ended here,bye~ hahahs...Live everyday with a smile..

Written at Friday, December 12, 2008 | back to top

Looking forward to a new everyday,I hope I found the real reason abt living and of course living everyday to the fullest!! I realise something that I had never thought abt it..But now situation change so we human change to adapt too~Hhahas(; Afterall,death is all around us so why get scare or sad..One day when you leave the world,you might be more happy..Who knw's wad would it be like when we're dead? A common question yet an unspeakable one..Talking abt death is better than not,I think? But for all of you,I'm not sure how do you all look at the topic 'DEATH'. I think i shall end here...Maybe one day,I finally get the chance to say wad I didn't got to..Patient is not really the key,Being who you are,is the finally key to everyones' heart..Search in deeply,figure out who you are,and wad you really want or need..Once regret,you might not get the same chance anymore...I got much left to say to you....I be waiting~Wad I promised I will fufil it,no worries..Just be happy...SMILE~

Written at Thursday, December 11, 2008 | back to top

These few days posts have all been abt my grandpa..Somehow like everyone else said:'we still must move on'.But the facts,I think nobody is really accepting the death of my grandpa..Because living together had been a routine for us and a sudden change,just changes everything and everyone..My dad had been more strict as he wanted us to be a good girl,didn't wan us to bother anyone and making ppl angry.My aunt had less to talk and seem like her life is so dead..And as for my grandma who shld be the one getting the worst hurts of all seem to taking it easy but in facts we saw her crying while cooking and sometimes she goes around talking to my grandpa photo..It do break our heart to see that..In the past who cares to talk to my grandpa for a little longer but now even if you talked to him for days,he will never reply you...Regret do hurts,will I promise not to regret abt anything anymore and to treasure everything I have now..I can't.The truth who can till they lose it..Words I wanted to say to him,I could only keep it in my heart..I said:'Tell me can you hear me,is the food nice,is the life there prefect like i think,not suffering but enjoying.' Grandpa dun cry for us when you saw that we are sad,our tear are because we are joy that you didn't need to suffer anymore.After 49 days will we be better? Wondering,still waiting for the answer to my heart..Lots of questions flashing through,while thinking abt this ,there are something more in my heart which is so hard to answer..It's a NO-NO,i think? Wrong and right path infront,who knws which I had chosen~

Written at Wednesday, December 10, 2008 | back to top

The seventh day~I couldn't really face every morning and wad I do was to pretend yu're just gone and soon you were be back..Haiz,that's stupid,ppl said you'll be back today and this time you will really realise that you're dead..That cruel facts for you and for us too!Wad I wanna to say to you was gone and no more...Talk to once again,ppl do cried but I knw you didn't wan to see.But thinking after you realise the facts,how you feel,i wouldn't knw! You have become a shadow or even just ashes around us..Couldn't feel,couldn't talk..Today heard that my cousin grandma just came out from the hospital and so he couldn't stay at our house and had to go home but he didn't really wish to..That sudden moment,I thought that he still got the chance to see and talk but still he didn't treasure but as for us,we lose the chance and we regretted so much..If there's a chance to rewind,how good will it be? We ppl really dunno wad and how to treasure till it's really gone and no trace can be found..I was living and he was dead,it's just too fast and confusing now to think..I dunno wad will happen 1year after his death,will everyone be fine.Coming home couldn't call you,couldn't see you,couldn't play with you like I always does~Do you feel that I am right here still waiting and missing those days when it was so prefect!! I saw the last moment you close your eyes and had your body lying there beside me and how you were being burn and everything..How am I suppose to forget..It's in my blood abd heart...You didn't left any words before you left..Why did you leave us that day? Seeing you in hospital make me hurts but I didn't really think you'll be gone..Suffering is gone(:PEACE living within you and all of us,I am glad~

Written at Tuesday, December 09, 2008 | back to top

Sixth day since you're gone.It's kind of weird w/o ur footstep and everything you normal do in the morning.You use to eat real food but now it's just not the same.Kind of missing and tends to think abt it everytime..I wonder are you thinking abt me and wondering hw you feel? I nw could clearly remembered wad we did and wad you had said~But no matter what,even if you're gone,you seem to be still there in everyone heart.. Around us are all urs shadow and memorise...You gone too fast too quick and you never spoke to anyone abt anything,maybe just a small reminder that we didn't notice...Telling us you'll be gone soon.But no one knws until nw,tell me how to accept the facts that you're gone forever.For everything everyone,these five day,i rememberd you forever and never to forget..Tell me that you're fine in the other world~I will be loving you in my present future and forever(;

Written at Monday, December 01, 2008 | back to top

Quite a time since my last post~ So gonna write a post or it's dying..Btw these few days been running only two places and I even forget wad's the date and day..

Tense,worried and waiting patiently was I had been doing~
Every second you lived is a miracle to us..
A hope in our heart!!
Before anything happen to you,
try to talk to us and wake up..

Many things had happen and I had learn lotss..Which I think they had tried to taught me for years but nw I only need one day to get it all right..Human are just so odd! I think I got better,wad I am really worried abt is my grandmother,is she gonna be alright if she knw that grandpa will not be there anymore.I might be sad but crying is not the way we shld act..Instead we shld be happy that he do not need to suffer anymore..My grandma asked:' No more grandpa already how,cannot talked to grandpa already how,cannot see him..how?' This was hw I answer her..I said:' No more nvm still got you (grandma),he can't talked but I can talked to him and I'm sure he can hear me..and just by looking up into the sky,it's like looking at him..I'm already glad,I could do this.' So I wanna say even though you're gone but you had always been there in my heart,let time heal everyone..I knw you didn't wanna leave too but it's just that the time is here..Seeing you suffer nw make us all hurt,we dun even knw if you could hear wad are we talking.Bringing you home,is it really a good choice but I think you always wanted so since you're unconsious..I'm sorry that I been bad and didn't treasure all along till nw which is too late but I hope I learn and treat my grandma better in the place of grandpa..I really do love you so much!! Shedding tears everywhere,everyone~In my heart, i wish that you could live for a longer period(: Still living yet no words were spoken~
I had been lost for days and nw I am clear..I am elis so I a smart and strong? hahahs..Hope that everything and everyone are alright out there.
Confuse yet clear,Strong yet hurt,Laughter yet tears,Talking yet silents..Alive yet dead? You knw how I feel.. A place without pain,wad's it like?
Still living yet no words were spoken~

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The lovely photos

Do you see a slide show above? Obviously right?!hahah...Okay,if you wanna know what I have been through and how do I feel about them,you will have to read the title below each photographs(: It's not that difficult There only a total of 41 photos..Meaning 41~43 words(:!! Just as simple as ABC.. Anyway,I should have introduce myself first...I am elis as you can read...And I'm currently studying at NYP,a course named-Hospitality and tourism management..Also,I became 1 year younger on the month of november and the date of eighteen which is 18 if you cant see(:Oh,and when the day arrived people who don't know me well will be benefit,as they dont need to buy me a present..Just a tiny small little card with your wishes on it will do..However,for people who knows and are...well..very close to me...HAHAHHA! It's the day I received presentsss for all of you^^ Okay..So I believes after reading this,you already have an answer to befriend with me or not!! But I hope to know every single one of you that reads what I had wrote above..Because since you have the patience to read it,you should have the patience to be my friend(:(: After all,I believes I'm a friendly, cheerful and a funny girl..I mean a teenager!!~~So...Hey people out there,will you say hi to me? Because every friendship started off with a SMILE and a HELLO..But to maintain it,we both have to work and carry a positive mind with it** Oh,just another information,I am a little loud,a little short but that doesn't really matters...Because I walks around the town with my theories and unique personalities and I know I'm being loved by my dearest lovable friends and beloved family(:^^....WAIT WAIT..LASTLY,I wanna thank all of you for reading and here's a big hug from me(*v*)...Ok Okay...end of elis' speech/self-introduction..

Love,elis chen