FEARLESS with you

2011-02-21T01:43:00.002+08:00

feels like you're in a rush..a rush to some dreamy land where ur games lies ahead..just needed some warmth and security or perhaps just a little love..but u hv got none..Is it that u hv none left to give or is it I can't feel a thing..I can't blame you nor me because time fade away lots of things..thinking back is the remedy but what's important is enternity? ...I ponder and wonder, yet I can't get any better...the time to? I just wanna be where I shld be..Just listen to , just listen to me.....................................................................,........,,,,,,.................................................Why were you like this? why am I reacting ? I feel sick and tired to continue my story....Sometimes, I just needed peace..Sometimes, I hope u would listen and do what I asked..It isn't too much..I didn't ask for te stars..I simply just wished for an update? a message? a concern? a feeling? a call? you knw what..I suck at writing and saying out hw I feel..I just feel bored and just tired of trying to be......I hate tonqorry and I hate to feel
afraid, the threaten by others by the crowd,,I just wan a peaceful, quiet life...

2010-09-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

it was the first time I saw your back-I felt so lost and useless. Not beig able to hold u back,not being able to chill it off.and not being able to clear your doubts. While I'm running my way there,the only thing I thought was-why was I such an idiot,why was I so childish,why am I anger or sad for? As all I ever wanted was this.and somehow,I'm throwing it all away? I must be insane..and as thoughts filed my mind,feelings filled my heart..I ran even faster-fearing that everything would be disappear infront of me..Upon seeing your back-I thought..Should I just walk behind or should I go up to u? and yes,I did! But evrything wasn't as I expected..You look so emotionless,I can't read u anymore..I dunno what or which part did I do that causes this? I thought u will be fine but u merely say you're fine and ther u go..I stood there,looking like a fool..the fear,the worst scenrio..what I don't wan..Just happenED...and slowly ur back faded..and I realise,I should be headjg back...and there I ran my heart out ,my mind of thoughts and cry out how I felt..because there is nth else that I could do to save it...Silent filled but what else?

PS: It doesn't have to be.

2010-09-02T12:17:00.002+08:00

MISSING AINT GONNA BE EASY, IT'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.

Dearest reader,
Haven been able to really post regularly,but today,I have got the mood and things to tell.
I have lost both of my granddaddy, I thought it not gonna hurt after awhile-a week,a month or a year? However, I'm so wrong..No matter what had change, the thought of you leaving just cant seem to leave my mind or worst, there's such a big scar in my heart that nobody gonna replaced.

The love you gave are stuck with me, and the love I gave back will never end.
The care you gave make me misses it all over again, my care for you can never be shown.
The words you gave,no matter it's encouragement,disappointment or anger...I would still want to hear it once again..

It's been 1 and a half year, and grandpa, I still do cry whenever I think of you..The promises I gave,I didnt keep it...I did for some in a long-term run but the other I just did it for a short-term one... I'm sorry once again...The regrets I gave myself for not doing enough ,for not being there when you need, for not being the perfect granddaughter..But still once things I never did regret is I'll always and forever love you..

If I were to give up the world,just to see you,feel you and care for you once again..I would...
There still so much more that you need to know,you need to see and you need to care...
I was just a sixteen year old girl then...Not crying out loud at your wake,make me feel that there's a need inside me ,hoping that I could shout out,cry out..but now, I dont seems to find the right time...I had enter poly,do you knw? I'm stressing up,why aint you here to tell me what to do? You are the one,I respected, the one I listen....Who's else there to tell me,granddad..Will you let me see your face again,just upon closing my eyes,in my dream or just in my heart?

I could still vividly rmb, the day that I touch your hand,memorising your face..And for the last time,I said I'm gonna love you for life..And for a last hug and kiss goodbye......I can tell you how much u meant, how much I need,how much I regretted-not taking a photo with you upon my sixteen birthday! Not being able to listen to you for the last time..and when I realise,it's just too late...Why didnt you wait for me....Why didnt you listen to my last word? Why did you......

Sixteen..and all I ever wanted was for you to be there for just a few more years...To be my guidance,be my angel ,be my word of wisdom...Be MY GRANDPA.....

PS:Time with you aint short nor long...But the love from me to you ,aint enough...I regretted but how? Be there for me grandpa..I just wanted you....Always..

Sincerely,
Elis Chen,(It's the best gift being your dearest granddaughter..)

2010-08-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

18 WAYS!

Dearest reader,
Okay, firstly I am here to tell you all something nice and sweet...Not emoing huh or being chim...~ It's a simple as ABC post today...Pardon my gramma/spellings though..Have you listened to the wang lee hom/hong new songs.. Including a song named :" 18 martial art (Translated)" ...So instead of martial arts,I will go into a simple sweet and awesome actions which is :" 18 ways of making u laugh".......Though I still cant really think of 18....freakign so much yet....But still I shalltry my best to fill it in...See huh...and laugh while I phrase!

1) Of course we must type HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA..(Must be freaking long huh)
2) Ermmm....;) ;D ;> :3 :P ;b :O :K :j (Err....It's faces la...appreciate la ^^)
3) Just look at any one of my unglam pics (and see what reaction I give!!!)
4) Inventing lots of new ways in holding hands,having fun...(Thumb,pinkie hold..Favourite is like glue hold)
5) Allowing him to see your freaking eyes bag!
6) Listening to very interesting song and sing in other languages.(Though it dont sound good)
7) Be a fool, make a joke out of yourself.. Because being silly is a reason he laugh!
8) Changing ,trying out different tone of voice!!!
9) Dancing though he feel malu - But he will laugh!
10) Instead of saying Hi,cya,bye...Change it to Kill ya tmr ,okay ?
11) Telling him why he's so good! (Cause when he's malu,he will secretly laugh!)
12) Doing a very hilarious and embarrassing things in public! (Never fail)
13) Standing on just his leg make him laugh ttm too!!! O.O!
14) Performing the karate KICK!
15) Tickling is one of the best and traditional way but still ,he will fall for it!
16) Speaking in a very bad English way (like now) he laugh too *^ *box you* (: But it's ok!
17) Saying that he's hot but in fact you mean he's warm...But nvm, just make him fly ;D
18) Dont afraid to be yourself, because you are the most important reason he laugh!

Upon reaching here,I realise that 18 things aint enough....Memorise flashing through my brain...And I realise we have came this far...Everything we did is wonderful...and is perfect in the most imperfect way.... There bound to be fights but overcoming never seems to be a problem. There bound to be silent,secrets but we never fail to make each other feel the love we had. There bound to be tears but we will never fail to be there to wipe the tears off or to cry with each other. If you lend me your hand,I will give you the warmth. If you give me your shoulder,I will give you my head. If you give me your eyes, I will show u how important you are to me. If you give me your body, I will protect you from the cold. If you give me your ear, I will whisper the sweetest words. If you give me your forehead, I will give you the warmest kiss,If you give me your arm, I will grab it and never let go. That's how much you meant to me..(:

On the other side-If you clinch your fist, I will open my palm. If you turn your back on me, I will hug you. If you look away, you will still see me,cause I will never let you wander off alone.(Leading you to wild conclusion)..
If you lost your sight, I will be your eyes. If you lost your hearing, I will write to you. If you are mute, I use my heart to listen to what u need. If you lost your taste, I will taste the food for you (:

People, it's very easy to be a nice person and even easier to be a sweet-talker. But actions are louder than words.. And it takes not weeks,months but years to prove it.. I have all my lifetime to prove to you, do you have?... I know that now, I 'm not living in a single hood,I cant keep everything to myself,because that worries you.And when u are affecting, it affect me more. So I will not keep everything but something can ;P Same for you^^ Doublehood huh!
Love is miracle, it comes and can slip off easily...So I'm grabbing you tight...Dont fly off wor~ I will put 10 kg to each of your legs ;D sound good! hahahha...Nah, when you are around, it never rain.

PS: Yawn...Sleep people! If love is in the air, take a deep breath....<3 Ask me why do I love you again..I really dunno. U are just so imperfect^^

2010-08-24T00:22:00.003+08:00

WHY IS IT HURTING SO MUCH..WHY DOES MY HEART ACHE?

Why am I feeling sorry when nothing seems to be a problem of mine? Why do a thing always leads to two? Why do friends/family/everyone had been disappointed or are constantly being disappointed by me?

Keeping my feeling, to not hurt you, to not make you feel frustrated about it and to not let it bother you. I just wanna lighten your load but why you said u were disappointed with me? Why? I thought I was strong, and I thought u knew all along? But nothing seems to be like what it should be? The people I care,I love,and I want to be ard with are not like before and yes I knw people change but I am so afraid........I'm afraid of being left behind,being neglect,being threw away like a rubbish and thus I always do my very best to keep up with their pace, making myself the joke of the day to just get their attention,and maybe I'm silly by doing all these....

It's not that I dont wanna tell u, it because I dont knw how to.........I have never express it out,and when I say never I mean it........A true feeling,a true problem shouldn't be told if not needed....I'm selfish and yes......For that my apology

Stop and think........I should really do it now.......I wanna be back to when I dont have anything to worry about.......I have been feeling these way it's because, these days, the same things happens to too many people ard me..The same situation, why? Am I doing something wrongly? Or simply,I'm irritating.........I wanna go somewhere,some where where nobody gonna find me......Where I can find back who I was.................Sorry people..........I dont feel good........I feel awful.........Yet I'm speechless...........

PS: Where would u be when I need, what would u hear when I'm sad, how will u feel when I'm speechless? I'm sorry for being a fool...For being such an asshole........

2010-08-05T17:25:00.002+08:00

WHAT'S THERE TO WORK FOR?

Dearest reader,

What would you do when u have reach the end of a rope? I mean not the end of your life rope but the friendship, family or loveship.. Every single part of your life.

Friends--
In life, will our friends stay with us,I mean friends that we made in Secondary,in Primary or in poly? Think about it, which group is the most possible one to stay? Primary,too young,not mature thus connection weak..(If you get what I mean)... Secondary, very close for 4 or 5 years, have the thought that it will last and forever.Share almost everything.But.... When entering the life of Poly and getting use to what u have and what u dont...U forgot the promises you made, you forgot the moments you had with your dearest friends and u still carry on with it... And slowly u realise, U have been distanced away...Some sec friend still stya in touch,are still very close but for some maybe like me, I dunno why, it dont work this way... I'm not someone that can be restrict to a certain group, a limit is a suffer to me...I love going around, exploring all the possible things and sometimes, I lost the way and for me to get back to you, it's to make me realise what I have been missing out....I dont and wont really notice what I lost -like what others had said:"I took things for granted" But it's not entirely my fault as...I can live alone without anyone and to breathe by myself.....I work things out myself..However, a label of being bad just tag onto my back ;/ and realising that I'm such a bad friend-I think about it, I feel sad about it..I even did cry because of it..But after what I had done, what's there for me to do? It's not possible for me to take u back for granted..

PS: Story to be continued-Low batt (: Meawhile smile!

2010-07-20T19:16:00.003+08:00

FRIEND=JUST FRIEND/ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?

Dearest reader,

What does friend truly meant to you? A partner to prevent boredom? Or maybe just a talking buddy,to increase your popularity? Think about it, just like marketing term-A need or just perhaps a want?

To me, a friend take years and effort. No rewards and no lost. Just purely a true friendship made.
So before making a friend-U really need to find the right type of group. As it's never easy to build and maintain a friendship!

PS: Balance friendship,love and family^^

Love,
Elis Chen

2010-07-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

BLOG LIMIT MY PIRVACY!

Dearest reader,

Have you ever wonder why you created a blog..And what have you been posting about? Is it a sad or happy or angry or....etc things? I guess most of the people here have chosen the emo part-which is sad posts..A blog is well mainly for you to post everything you like...I mean it's yours what~ However,sometimes by writing out how you feel might cause you even more trouble,dont you think so? People starts to talk and discuss about it or worst they penalise you for it-for something that you dont even know why?!! I mean just get your mouth and eyes off "MY" page la....Dont have to comment much in fact...Dont be a KPO?! HHAHAHAH~ Okay,well I said it here not because somebody had say me..But from the view of others..It's time you guys really think about it..Either the one posting-to really think before post,that's stupid la(your blog leh)..OR for people reading to keep their thought to themselves..However,writer please be gentle and reader dont be violent^^

ONE.
I know it's not a dream,but I'm afraid it might just be another one..As too many dreams had been broken and the courage has decrease..I know it's real but somehow sometimes,I dont feel right..I'm scare that somehow,it will disappear like it once was..They told me that I was thinking too much and that everything was just "FAKE"!..Therefore,I once had the thought to turn my back and run away from it,but somehow I feel stupid for doing so...What if it's real,what if it's not a dream..It's reality? And so I stay...I dunno if it's a right/wise choice but I can no longer different-shape it...I just wish from the deepest of my heart that,it's not gonna be bad or WORST^^...ELIS CHEN is strong but still breakable.She is cold-hearted but is still able to melt.She is made out of metal but still as weak as glass.She is stuborn but still willing to give you the thing she likes.She is crazy but is attentive.She is boyish but at the same time girlish..hahah..Do you knw all of these? I bet u knw,u feel...Just that u dont get to experience it :P...Lastly, she dont show u everything unless she thinks you are worth it^^..If she do, it means she really do trust you..High faith in you wor~ hahahaha!

STRESS LEVEL(8/10)
Luckily,with the help of ;()...Maybe I do feel better^^...O..kay,decraseing from 8 to 6...CCA-Frisbee is my love,play out of passion and I want it to continue be in this state...The passion/love play...But is it possible? COMPETITIVE is what they truly want...Only until u have reached the stage,will u really enjoy and play with well....still passion or for the sake of playing? Nobody will knw,U can be playing with a smile but deep down you are not? 0.o...Anyway...I know that I wont quit that easily but my I'm afraid that my passion might fade...I dun wan..I wan it to stay while my skill improve as well^^...However,there's no gain without lose..So what's next,what's ahead...I really dunno? I'm like blind-folded...However,I will still move on..willing to take a step forward..Only when I faces the challege will I excel...I am not the best player but I'm one in my heart when I put in my heart and soul to train and play!...

PS:Before I fall,I consider..As I'm 18..............No more foolish acts from me...Taking a big slow step a time(:

Love,
elis chen

2010-06-29T17:42:00.005+08:00

IS TIME THE LIMIT TO EVERYTHING THAT MAKE YOU REALISE U SHOULD START TREASURING?!

Dearest reader,

Have you ever thought that without time will everything be better or worst? Maybe it will be better when you think that you have more time to do whatever u can and to restart everything u had done wrongly or maybe you could take your lifetime to accomplish a tiny task. On the other hand, it's worst!! You wouldn't realise the importance of everything- Human move on and human do die and what's more time NEVER did wait for us. Either u do your best to catch up or live ur every single seconds to the fullest. You never know when does your time run up ? However, whatever decision u chose, it's a consequences u are going to bear...

People tend to complain that time is always running out but actually it's you that do not treasure what time has given you? Dont you think? Everything happens for a reason and the reason is you-yourself? So stop blaming the time for losing out on thing you didnt finish on instead start preparing for the future. Dont WAIT since waitng is full of nonsense and it's true!! Why wait when u dont have TIME! Everything can happen and YOU will be the one making it happen!!~ WAIT starts TODAY,not tomorrow!! However, no matter what choices we make, it's never gonna be a prefect one as nobody is prefect and by being imprefect,you're PREFECT..Okay it's kinda complicated here by try to get the link~ Anyway, I should stop the naggy part and theory part here and you should go HOME and start thinking about what U should DO! Dont sit there and see,read...Make your life journey a worthwhile one..You live ONCE just this one.~

Love,
elis chen

PS: We always call people do it now and fast as we are the ones that have been waiting for them to do something about it,right? DUH~^^

2010-06-15T13:53:00.002+08:00

WHAT TO DO WHEN EMOTIONS KEPT RUSHING OUT?

Dearest reader,

I'm tired..To try,to do my best,to make you laugh,to make you less stressful and to give everything to you...SO now,I'm not listening to you...No more...Please dont be shock from my sudden change,cause I'm being who I really am...Know ELIS-the one that never dies,the one that chiong like hell,the one that scold you,make you laugh till you drop and lastly..It's her(:.....

It hurts to miss someone but as long as there someone there to cheer you up-IT'S OKAY..
It hurts to love someone without the person knowing it but as long as someone know-IT'S OKAY.
It's hurts to see the one you love with someone else but as long as you're not alone-IT'S OKAY.
It's hurts to laugh even when in fact you're crying inside but as long as someone try their very best to make your day-IT'S OKAY.

However,you asked who's that someone-It might be your sisters,your brothers,your family,your friends or what's more your future one...Though in life,we went through ups and downs...We still stands right? Please dont tell me,u fall and dont dare to stand agin...If it's true,,,bang your damn head on the wall...Why on earth feared out? Be strong...Rmb,you are never the only one falling..We are too-we might not know each other but somehow we are relate in a way...
FIRST WAY- we are human right?..it's like duh~ Second- we fell....Third- we live in a planet NAMED earth^^...So never give up,okay?...Just smile and get it over..I know it's gonna hurt like hell,I been there..but trust me I pain never leave but happiness and warmth will slowly built up...Scars stay but dont be afraid,someone will mend it up...Just wait patiently,like I do....I know,we cried a millions tears...We break a dozen hearts...We heard millions of shattered sound...And the silent words within our heart and mind...But out of all these,I can say I did enjoy what I had before with him...Though there more bads than goods...I hope u do too....It's uselss holding on the bads when you can simply rmb the goods forEVER(:....

I might not be the best,not be the one,not be the wonderful,the gentle,elegant and sweet girl you wanted...The opposite,I'm the lame one,the funny,the cold-hearted,the loud spoken,the rough girl..But I believes you will love me for my imprefection...As only then,it's true love come true...If you simply hate any point of mine...Just get away from me...Anybody out there,you're IMPREFECT but we still do love you for that...It's your imprefection that makes you unique and PREFECT...Just like impossible(I-M-POSSIBLE)...imprefect is also(I-M-PREFECT)...So come on~ anyone that say you,hate you,dislike you or isolate you..Shut them out and for good....Gosh~ just call them to leave for good...Cause saying us just make them one bad person..which in the end,wont be happy...If i'm confidence after falling like.......well......to be exact 2 hard falls and some minor falls.....You can be too...I know some of you fell harder but rmb,on the other ends,somebody await for YOU..It might be years till you too meet but you will still meet right..? Aint that what you want?^^

OKAY then,elis stopping here...It's easy to fall for someone and it's actually easy to fall out for someone..Think in another view and you will understand..(:..Pardon if you feel sad upon reading..Sometimes,the only way to heal your broken heart is to hurt you deeply,to make you realise,he is gone for good...Thta's what I have learn from my sister that scolded me,making me cried like hell,tears flow even me can't stop..But after that,i woke up and say-she is right..I have to move on...Sorry,something more...For girl that thought the guy like her,that's what my sisters said:" You think he touch your hand,he's interested? You think he say sweet words,is he likes you? You think he care is he love you? You think he accompany you for like 1 hours means he's so in love with you?) Even though he might be doing these for months but simply it mean nothing...1) He touches your hand,come on~He's being nice so you wont feel awkard. 2) Oh,his sweet words who never heard before even his guys friend did,okay! 3) Care huh,hey,your friend fall,you will care right,it's a duh not to la! 4) Accompany,he's lonely too..Or if he reject someone for you,come on girls~You know he's beening brotherly!...It's not I'm out to break ppl hearts,I'm trying to make you realise,who's the jerks and who's the one that worth putting your heart and soul into....Trust me,many girls went through this,misunderstanding the guy but truth to be told,you guys make us misunderstand la...EVEN my guys friend say so for guys(jerk)..But dont give up...it 6/10 jerks...look for that 4/10 ok? hehehhe...ENDING..LOVE ME FOR JUST ME!

PS:A long post indeed,but hope you will still read,it's quite meaningful if you understand(:....I will still break my heart if I fall for you,cause sometimes I thought you wont break me this time..Guess i was wrong...Anyway,it's over from this second(: Dont miss the stupid me that are always there..Nobodys' gonna always be there,I'm just tired already!~

With love,
Elis Chen~

2010-06-01T13:09:00.004+08:00

LOVE STAYING AT HOME~

Dearest reader,

I'm sick thus I didnt went school (: Yeah~! hahah..However,it does not benefit me,I have to learn the topics myself and well~~~ study for ICA with a sucky feeling...

Anyway, yesterday was a funny yet fun day..Having a bouncing throws for frisbee? hahah,you won't wanna know~And know what....We won! Actually,I have no idea what to blog la~~~ I'm like summarizing it..

Okay okay, let's be serious! Nowadays,I've become a irresponsible person as I didnt reply people message and worst letters..I promise to write the letter and sent it out by last week but I didnt!! AHhhh..when am I gonna do it? In fact,I haven even start writing about it~ I don't know how and what to start? Haiz,dont know what to post la!
Stopping here then... Byebye(:

PS: I've been weird these few days, I dont know if it's because of you! It will always be too late for you and me:P We're never early!!~

With love,
elis chen

2010-05-24T16:18:00.002+08:00

I'VE GOT TO KNOW THE FACT..

Dearest reader,

Let's start with a question? How does it feel to secretly love someone? Does it feels miserable? Does it hurts? Or maybe it's the other way round-You feel warm,happy,contented? Haha..Some people have the definition that love is giving and not taking while the others believe that you've to achieve in order to get what you want..What about yours?

Is love a need or a want? In marketing terms-Need is a deprivation state-in physical,individual,social needs..Wants-is shaped by personality and cultural.
So which category are you in?Perhaps you're both? The rest are up to you to fill in..

Love,
elis.

PS: You just dont get to be with the person you truly love-The one.Do you know why?

2010-05-15T16:23:00.003+08:00

ELIS IS CRAZY AND MISSING.

Dearest readers,

It's been like 1 month(approximately),I have been super busy with my poly life..And so I only have the time to post a short post..Maybe I'm only able to post once every 3 weeks?! That's so pathetic lor! -.-!~ Gosh,I love POA so much but today,POA just seems to turn its back on me!...I'm stuck! Tell me how?...Anyway,I have got tons of projects to do..Stacking up one by one..Tell me,why is poly life so NOT slack one...
I'm really missing my secondary life..Playing around without even worry about what needed to do or hand in..Give me back my past life leh~~..I miss you..! It's been a long time since I saw you..Everyone are drifting away? I hope not...I do want to watch a movie,do wanna go shopping,do wanna go out with my family...But with all the work loads and CCA,I dont have the time to...I hope you dont blame me,for not calling,for not talking to you about what's happening..Cause i really cant afford to waste a second..Every seconds is like a diamond to me!~ Do u understand?
You thought I'm enjoying but I am not..As I had promised thus I must keep to it..
So just let me be..When I'm studying,I dont love it when you call.Cause I will just piss you off..(I mean I'm frustated not with u but my works) Sorry..

LOVE-
Every single hurts you get,turning you from a warm hearted to a cold-hearted person..So tell me is this my fault cause you are shouting to me,saying I'm a cold-blooded..Or it's you to be blame for turning me into this weirdo?~..'What if 'filled my brain,but somehow I lack of the courage to express it...So I have decide to tell you,not to be my friend,not to even be a stranger...Just be a nobody..A person that I will not turn my back around upon seeing you,A person that I will not feel sad upon talking to you,a person that I wont care even when you're in the bottom of the sea/or deeply hurt.A person that I will never ever love..

PS: Suddenly,I melted becasue of you!

Love,
elis chen J

2010-04-17T21:56:00.003+08:00

Hey readers,

Haven been able to update for a month~ hahah,gonna rot soon! Anyway,before I say anything else,I have a news to inform...Should be a good news i guess?!~ My school gonna starts on Monday...Time passes by real fast,had 5 months of holidays and I kinda cant bear to start school..ahahha~~

Anyway,back to the topic..ORIENTATION!!
Day 1 of orientation was rather normal..Though I did meet some friends,but didn't really talk..haha,but the games were super duper fun!!
Day 2 of orientation,it was AWESOME! I don't know how should I put it but it was the best I had so far...An unforgettable one!~....and i met some really cool friends...Talk a lot and the performance was indeed a funny one...

Erm,I guess that all...Oh,and I just bought a new laptop...A lenovo one..Good and worth it,for the price of 1599!!(: okay then,wish me luck in my new school NYP^^...For now,night night!

Love,
elis chen

2010-03-02T12:47:00.003+08:00

BEFORE YOU LEAVE,LET ME SAY WHAT I HAD WANTED~

Dearest reader,

Firstly,let me update the latest news to everyone,I had my tooth operation done and the tooth that's in my gum is gone..Yippee~At least I don't have to worry about it anymore..Wanna know how was the operation?...hehe...Okay, first,the doctor gave me 8 injections in my gum(to numb my lower lip and gum)..Second,the doctor damp my whole mouth with a another kind of medicine(leaving a cooling feeling and a little numbness)Third,they covered my eyes!! Okay and here was what i heard...I heard drilling sound(to chop off my tooth into 2 parts-easier to be taken out) and cracking sound(my tooth cracks after the drilling) and,the sewing of my gum..It's hurts at first but it didn't last and before I know ,the operation was finished?! haha,and for the first day,I was like a mute..can't open my mouth..But the funniest part was I pinched my lip super hard and I have no feeling so I asked my sis to pinch it too...Dumb!! But when the second day arrived,it hurts like hell!! I had the urge to cry and shout and just chop off my chin!! ...Also,I had a swollen,super swollen CHIN! hehe..But after that day,everything was better..I'm used to it...Having a small mouth and I could only have porridge..However,I secretly ate nasi lemak and some crackers..they found out and told me...You're really a pro,mouth hurts yet you could still eat it..And i told them I swallowed it(: haha..I am ugly with a swollen chin;( hehe..!

I GOT MY ANSWER~~

My eldest sister asked me-if there was another chance to restart again(to never say the 3 words),would I still choose to say or I would not..I answer I would not and know what she told me...She said I wasn't really in love...I kinda believe,perhaps it's true...But after a few days,I came up with my theory and the reason for choosing not to...and I disagreed with what my sister said..I mean how is it possible to feel what I'm feeling..Do you know why I chosen not to tell if I had another chance..? It's because if I didn't told him how I feel,I could still be his best friend,then nth will be awkward,nth will change,we'll still be talking,chatting and playing or even joking..hahah..I should have think before I do..It was such a huge consequences and I find it hard to bear..Though I once said I will and could but I just didn't get the chance to know how impossible and tough it was..

I am sorry that I told everyone I'm so over you because the truth is I am not,I'm shock I said that too..Actually I'm silly enough to be still there,waiting and hoping for that only miracle that's not gonna come true..And do you know why I stayed believing?...Because you pretended nth happen and erased the past..Nobody gonna remember what happen,so the only way that make ppl remember is to remember it myself..and moving on is to forget about it..That's why I don't want to...I cant bear to let everything go down the drain..Let my effort disappear..and just let my feeling fade away..It just not the way I do and it's so not gonna happen...Love isn't just a game..It isn't a kind of entertainment,it's true and real...I don't think there's anything wrong to love someone even if the person do not love you back...Why give up on love..and why turn your back on love..the moment you turn you back on love,is the moment when you never believe that there is love..I believe and will still be...I might fear ppl out but no matter what it wont fear me out again...I had chose to restart it..I just hope I wont have the same ending..even if it was to be,I'm not afraid...Love shouldn't be something you fear,it should be something you love...
One step closer,the other step down..But I know I'll get to where I want and nobody gonna stop..

PS:If I reached the top with you..Tell me how's the journey felt like? Okay?

Love,elis chen

2010-02-23T13:22:00.006+08:00

A FAIRYTALE~

Dearest reader,

Today is going be a good day,I guess..Everything had been sorted out..In fact,I mistaken everything from the good to the bad..Didn't want to too..It just that I was not in the normal state,unable to think properly but today I could..It wasn't on purpose,sometimes,it just do feel that way..
And now,I recalled every single memorise I had with not only you but everyone..Indeed I wasted much time in trying which will never give me a solution,did make ppl around me feel sick and did make a fool out of myself..haha,and I just knew it..Number 1) I used to think that you're competing with me and whenever I meet you,I felt like we're starting a war and we're always on the battlefield..But now,I knew you didn't feel the way I felt..How dumb am I,wasting my time and energy(: Number 2) I used to think that there was a way to solve this and pretend that nothing happen,in my heart not mind..However,I just know that it's impossible to...It happenED and it always will remain in this way.. Number 3)I used to live in my fairy tales land and dream,waiting for that prefect prince charming,haha..I was not really dumb in believing that ,I was stupid to mistake you as him..However,it'll never happen again..

I am sorry for being in that state..I mean you are right,it shouldn't have to affect me and for 24hrs,so not worth it..In this world,he is not the only thing that could make me smile for the whole day,who make my heart beats fast and slow at the same time..It used to but not now..
And so what's there to hang on to? I don't even know,perhaps..It was a regret and a question mark that left me hanging..But today the question became a FULL-STOP..I should have know..

FAMILY
I'm missing you dearly..I miss your action,your words and your way of punishments...And know what,every time I talked about you,it just trigger my tears but if it never roll down my cheeks,it doesn't count right..so I'm not crying(: I just feels empty without you..A home but not really one,a family but not really warm and it's just like a shell without a soul...I regretted for not taking photo with you,for playing with the com rather than accompanying you..I was bad but you taught me to stop,you teaches me to stay strong and be a good girl,to get good results and to be good to everyone..But since you are gone,I cant do all of these alone,I needed you still,to constantly remind me of what I should do or say..Somehow,everything I said hurt ppl,and it hurts me to see them being hurt too..Where are you?How have you been? Do you still remember us?...I could still recall all the moments i spent with you...I still think that it wasn't a right time for you to leave us..

PS:I would rather live in fairytale than face with those hurtful action/words.

Love, elis chen..

2010-02-10T11:58:00.004+08:00

LOVE IS JUST THE MANIPULATION OF
EMOTION~

Dearest reader,

Today I will be talking about something that has really bother me..But I think after writing this post,I won't be confuse nor irritate by it anymore...Do you know the difference of LIKE and LOVE...Actually it's simple....Firstly,it definitely involve 2 people....Secondly,their habit and character...And thirdly....Do you like or love him?.......Like could be said in a very normal and w/o a meaning way...But love is different....Normally--we say...A boy and A girl relationship is a LIKE...However, A man and A woman relationship is a LOVE....It might not be true but mostly it is...Sometimes,I would wonder why do ppl go into a relationship--Some says,I'm afraid of loneliness..And for some,they say it's cool..and for some they say it's fated,well...There's lots of ways to describe it but there's a better way which is to experience it...There's even stages to it..
Like when to treat that person good or how to...hahha,you know what,there's tons of love book out there...And the reason is the people just cant really figuring out what man/woman are thinking...We are unique..Every single one of us..That's why it is soo hard!!~~(I would really rather be a boy because I know I would be a better man)

FAMILY--
Well,I think I had spoken some (blah blah blah) nonsense above..So censored it,okay?!
Just went down with my grandma and sister(2)..haha,and know what,we bought lots of things/foods for CNY!! I am really elated to see everything back to normal..I mean I didn't really celebrated my CNY last year as you should know that my grandpa has...well..passed away...And I was so afraid that it might affect their mood and there wouldn't be CNY celebration anymore..But luckily..I mean despite my grandma problems...She could still..I dunno how to express it..but it just feels good...At least,I know what home feels like..Will it continue or it's just for cny? And grandpa,we all misses you though we know that whatever celebration,you wont be there...But in our heart you still do(:

FRIENDS--
Okay! Yesterday,I went to my primary sch friend celebration(: And it's incredible that the feeling,the years of friendship still remains...Whoa whoa!! And I really misses the time in kindergarten and primary school!~~hahaha..So I believes it's time to meet your primary
schoolmates and let just have fun...You wouldn't know what might happen...It's thrill to just think about it...(: Lovely friends indeed...They don't change if you stay in touch..!!

PS:Every single day I count when will you appear in my real life?

Love,elis chen

2010-02-08T16:54:00.004+08:00

My neck is gonna break!

Dearest reader,

General-

I bet you should understand what I mean right...As you can SEE I have changed my blogskin..
It's rather a simple yet detailed one so I'm soooo loving it(: What's more?...When you have a blogskin that you like,you will blog more often?! hahaha,that's just part of my logic again
Anyway back to my topic...About MY today....It was rather a free day to me,no tuition and no studying! It should be a good news to me but it's NOT...And ask me why? I can't answer....
It's not just being bored,being tired....It just there's something missing...You know MIA.........
Haiz! I believes that our heart are divided into several parts...Eg: 1/4 goes to family,another goes to study,and one goes to yourself and the last 1/4 belongs to love...However,in life,it's not going to be that prefect...Somehow you wouldn't have 1/4 of something...Which causes you to feel weird or puzzled about it..You might even ask:' I feel fine but why I just cant be happy." And the story goes on....I do not know if there's going to be an end to it or perhaps a 4/4 full heart....If you wanna know,you have to move on and sometimes even putting some effort to it...~~
Life isn't just living...Life is about the happening and what makes it happen....You are the creator of your life happenings so whatever you do,act affect everything in future...It's just a theory...(:

Family-

Emm...I'm having a bad/good times with them...Because it's really hard to control my mood...I might get upset about what you said but you wont be able to tell..Or sometimes I get so piss off by what you had said...Haiz...all I could say was,it's depends...REALLY....Not just my mood but also theirs...Get it...The family tree of mine,don't just revolve around me...It's around US!!

Friends-

Okay,coming to this sensitive topic....! I do have few close friends,some never distance but some will..I mean you can sense it cause you are not a donkey? I suppose....But what can you do,you meet them up,but is it always going to be a happy ending? haha,hard to say...Anyway,I'm not having that problem yet and I hope it won't come to me...tata,that's all(:

PS:Does love/life have rules and regulations to follow,in order to live?

Love,elis chen

2010-02-02T14:13:00.004+08:00

GIVING MYSELF MORE COURAGE TO DO IT RIGHT!

Dearest reader,
I wont be able to post regularly because I'm way too busy~hahah..Busy in working..I teaches tuition and I'm going to sell roses..Actually,this was the first time I felt truly working for the sake
of working,or should I say for the sake of money..wahahha(: Indeed,your 'own' is the best to spend,save or do whatever you want with it!~Other than all my working,I enjoyed by watching movies with my friends..ahhah so not totally that busy till my head will burst..LOLS!

Okay,I guess I'm being lame and it's totally not funny at all..Let's talk about something I had done recently,something interesting?! If I ask you this what would you answer..-"Are you currently,IN LOVE,NORMAL or FORGETTING ABOUT SOMEONE?" My answer was three in one..Part of me wanted to love someone,wanted to just have a normal life and the last best part of me wanted to forget someone...And in fact I succeed in the last part...So I guess I'm left with two?But I'm afraid that I'm lying to not anyone but myself...I couldn't,I mean I wouldn't want to know the truth..I know hiding wasn't the best but it was the best to me..I can't assimilate or try to do everything at once..I knew I could do one thing at once and nobody is forcing me..But me,I am trying to be the best,do the best in a flash..Changing,transforming to somebody better,somebody stronger...Fine,out of all the crap I might be saying..I still know I have to and will be fine..Right?Just like what everyone had said:" time will heal,you'll be fine.." Do you know,it's weird to be fine,it's weird for me not to think and it's even weirder for me to try to be your friend..So I dun wanna be..Anything that will relates me to you..And that's call THE END OF MY STORY!~

That was the first thing i wanted to say..For the second part..I would use just two words for the title:"WHAT IF"..And yes,you wonder...Many of us had said what if to somebody before..And it always makes us think about it..What if i was rich? What if we were meant to be? or what if he likes me?....That's all possible and impossible...If you were to believe and had that courage to try for the very last time,it might succeed and you might have what you want...But whatever you want,you must put in effort..it's not a talking matter or a blank pieces of paper...You have to fill in the words yourself...It's never easy but it's never hard if you had tried...
And 'YOU'..Makes me wonder what if I were to be with you...I did think about it..But whats the use,we're both not a dumb?! I mean,we know it was a joke,it was something not meant to be,it was something that we had missed,and lastly,it was something that we will forget someday...So why talk about it,why are we even thinking about it...I was a fool to follow and continue it..And I'm sorry I acted so dumb...I thought what if..But this is not a risk worth taking..I am not about to be a destroyer nor am I a spoiler...I am elis and i wanna to live as one...

In my life,I took risks like a game,like a dare..But this time round,I am not a darer nor do i dare to..I feared out..I am being challenged again and again and I never did back up..But now I don't feel like playing anymore..I wanted to just say:" Leave me out,or give me a pass."I didn't think I would come to this state,this motionless state..Unaware of the surrounding,and being afraid to lose... I was once a dare-devil but I cant stand by my foot,I'm falling and I know nobody is there for me..Even if there was,you cant support me-the pressure,the negative words and the tears from..I'm nt being sad..Because I really cant feel myself,cant feel my feelings...I feel like a zombie wandering around the corners and when will it stop? I really dunno...I dun want to be help as I know only I could save myself..In the end,I will be the only last one standing at my own turf,right? It's always me talking,thinking and bullet-shitting!! hhaha

I'm tired of your jokes,and know what I'm not as friendly as you think..I get affected easily..
Perhaps,you dunno that I'm secretly hating you only because I once love you..Only when you love someone that you can hate that person...I'm just waiting for my prince charming that I will never hate but love(: Will you be like me,awaiting for an unaware happiness..?Awaiting for the right girl?And when that happens promise to tell me all about it,the story behind it..~No matter how long it may be..

PS:Love is never what you think it is..It's unpredictable,it's amazing when it comes..

Love,
elis chen

2010-01-14T18:47:00.003+08:00

I WAS BREAKING DOWN BUT NO MORE!

Dearest reader,

It's been a damn long time since I wrote a post...Because I am just too busy!!It's way too complicated then you think,everything just came like raining cats and dogs!Okay,so do you wanna know what I have been doing for this month?..I have been busy-planning my sis birthday,o-level results,choosing of course and lastly my third aunt's funeral~Gosh,I'm too tired to even think about the other things...

I scored 14 points and finally had cca-a2..So net point is 12..I'm really exhilarated upon getting my results..I jumped up and down in joy~~But what's worst to come..CHOOSING COURSES!!So now,I have finally chosen my course..hospitality and resort management(: Anyway,no matter what you choose,if you work hard,it's the same..A bright future..So have to put in my heart and soul when sch starts..Though i might not get into this course(: hhahah! Anyway,my eyes is already feeling tired,but it's only 7pm..too early to go to sleep,right?

CNY is coming soon..a month later..oh, and know what, I wanna watch damn lots of movies..To enjoy my life before having to work hard for another three years...So hey boys and girls out there,enjoy while you still can~~Play till your head spins and slam on the ground..ahha,not that serious la...

(OTHERS)
In the past,I do everything to get your attention because I know you wouldn't know that I love you..Cause I felt that it's okay..However,I decided to take a risk,in saying everything I felt..I didn't know what's right,I just gotta tell you..And perhaps that was the biggest mistakes I ever did(for most of the ppl),I knew the truth about how you feel towards me..And so I could not,try to get your attention nor can I be a close frens of yours anymore..Because,what else more can I do,when you know almost what I want..From then on,I feel like I'm invisible in front of you..It's terrible for the start..But now,it doesn't feel a single bit..Okay,perhaps,a tiny bit..If I were to restart,I wouldn't tell you my feelings for you anymore..So,I told myself not to think,not to love,not to feel weird so as to be your frens..I have to do all these,if not I will lose a fren like you(:Just like a dummy boy,and you will never know..

PS:My story about you still continue but only as a frens(: I could once again smile like a silly little girl!

2009-12-11T12:54:00.002+08:00

I DON'T WANNA HAVE ANY NIGHTMARE ANYMORE!

Dearest reader,
I'm truly exhausted about having not enough rest..This is driving me insane..I afraid of closing my eyes,afraid of the night...Because I don't wanna face the darkness and loneliness..The mask I once just to wear had been tear off by you..So I can't face you nor do I know how to?...I just wanna be normal like how I used to...

In fact,there are two consequences and thing I could do..1)Just live and enjoy it..2)Just forget about it...My heart says battle and challenge the first one but my mind says you dont need it so go for the second one...ahhaha! Which do people usually follows,their brain or heart?...Perhaps,I just have to be myself...So do you know which I will chose?hahahaha...I have made up my mind..
I am going for the.................hehehe..I am showing it not telling it(: Till then,take care and goodbye..

PS:Sometimes,you have gotta to go to the extent...

With love,elis

2009-12-10T16:44:00.003+08:00

CAN I BURN EVERYTHING?

Dearest reader,

Hhahah..I'm totally in love with the weather this month!Gosh,I mean,don't you think,it is the best out of this 2009 year??..Though,having the changing of climax and temperature weren't a good sign,still we've got to enjoy what it gives?..No matter what,we still have to adapt and take whatever it offers..Anyway,a quiz for all of you--"What can't you live without?"a)Love b)Truth c)Friends d)Money.....If you've chosen,love-you born to be a lover and are searching for the right one? Truth--"you are born to seek the true self and you're a strong headed person"..As for Friends--"You're a passionate and caring person and have few very close frens"...Lastly,money--"Either you're very materialistic or you've gone through many hardship,normally,you don't have many frens and also,you are not very close with your family members"....I am just writing down,it might not be right..So believe 50% of it is enough...

Will 2012 really come to an end?...What if it's true and you only have 2~3 years of time left?..How will you live it,what will you do?..Sometimes,we have go to live like how you wanna live in the next 10 years,thus,you will be able to live life to the fullest..It's not about saying that you have but to truly live it...It's not as easy s you think it might be..Living your life like it should be is the hardest thing I have tried..Till now,I have been figuring out how to..?

Yet another,yet another confirmation and yet another unknown...I'm feeling better than yesterday,you?

PS:All this time,I have been hoping you would come ard,but after all of the disappointment ,not anymore...

With love,elis

2009-12-09T13:51:00.002+08:00

EACH DAY OF MY LIFE IS ALSO A HISTORY I'VE MADE!

Dearest reader,
People always said that pictures/actions speak the whole thing..So hereby,one picture..hahah!
Actually,just that one picture and those few words,it had already express what I wanted to say..
Sometimes,it's just as simple as A B C...There is no need to crack your brain~By the way,I'm going out soon so perhaps,I shall updated again?

I understand why do people kept taking photo because,when it comes to the end..They will know that it's not a dream after all! There's prove,got it...hehhe(: K la,I'm not gonna nag that much anymore...So,I will end here and continue soon~~

I feel much better than yesterday,and I will continue to.....I think it's time to stop hiding...I can face it!Jiayou elis,though I'm afraid that my faith will be shaken but I must NOT!! Determination,perseverance and endurance!!You can,you must,you need to~~

PS:Sean Kingston rocks!! If I'm wrong,oh....I dont wanna be right~

With love,elis

2009-12-08T15:36:00.002+08:00

YES,A WAY BACK HOME!

Dearest reader,
"Letting go doesn't means giving up..It's rather to accept the fact that something are not meant to be."A sigh of relief...I can finally take one small step at a time..And not to gobble down every single thing at one go..haha,perhaps,I shouldn't be that greedy!In the end,I got myself choke and it's suffocating~I should see things in another perspective..In order to go without burdens,is to have to let go of all the burdens..And yeah! I felt much lighter and better...

I have got to admit,I found out how far I could travel,how much pain I could overcome..How much it cost,for me to come so far..I had finally know it all..Summing it all up-"What a great memory I had with you"..

How much could you miss someone,how much could you love someone and how much it can hurt?You will only realise it when,you are walking down a crowded street that you felt so lonely inside that you misses that someone greatly..It's when,you're flipping through all the photos and things you did for him that you realise how much you have loved him...And lastly,it's when you're fighting back the tears and wishing you were there with him that you know how much it actually hurts...Life is like an experiment,you have got to go through all the failure to success..

Naive...I was wishing upon a shooting star,was looking at the shooting star..Thought that it was going to land beside me but it just didn't..I was standing at the wrong side,looking at the wrong star..It's coming so fast,it felt good to be looking at it..That I didn't realise,I was being burned by the heat..And now I do...

It's time to have a little laugh!Because I don't wanna get sour when the things don't go my way..
Now,I am not searching anymore..And I am not looking at shooting stars anymore,I have change to look at book..It's better...If the world was to end at 2012,it's time I do something for myself..
There's lot of things I wanna fulfil..So perhaps,I could take this time off to really do it...In the past,I am afraid of change,afraid of being alone...But no more...changes is gonna be good,if I am afraid of changes,it's time I face it...Hiding is not the cure for me,facing is the medicine I should be taking...It's good to be silly,insane and childish as you don't have much to worry about..But under all of these,we are just hiding from the real world...So take it off,it's time to show who you really are! I can't always be a silly,childish girl..Someday,I have to grow up..Someday,my family will leave...Someday,I will be on my own...Nobody is forever gonna protect you,so be you own protector and angel..

PS:Finding happiness is like finding yourself(: Smile a little~

With love,elis

2009-12-07T15:16:00.004+08:00

NO SOLUTION IN CROSSING THIS RIVER!

Dearest reader,

Days after days,and I'm slowing getting the picture..However,it's not easy to live after I get that pic,it's harder than I thought..Inside me,is filled with coldness and emptiness..I dunno,how to light up a fire in it...Starting from scrap,it's never easy...The gap between is to wide,if I cross,I'll fall and drown..If I don't,I will just have to watch it drift away..You are on the boat but I am not..You're moving on but I am not..Perhaps,I am boarding on the next boat and not this one...Sometimes,it's all about the right time,right place and right person..If one isn't in the right position,nothing can work out...I know it's bad to go around someones neck,I know it's ugly to be a nagger,and lastly...The worst is all that I know have became 'dunno' at that very important moment~.Haha,lol,hehe...Is that laughing,smiling or actually it's all faking? Hello,goodbye,goodnight...Is all being polite...And that's it...Everything I once know seems to be breaking down into smaller pieces,for me to understand and absorb..Or perhaps,to dissolve..However,all of this happen in my world and not yours,for that I end my story...A goodbye without anymore hello~

I shouldn't be bother about all of these in fact..There are too much of thing to be worried about right now..My priority is family now,ever heard of family crisis?hahahs,I am really in it now! This time,is the worst of all and I don't know what should I be doing right now?I really had enough,I'm stuck...! Perhaps if grandpa was still around,he would solve it and I don't need to worry about anything..But he's gone..I am just a seventeen years old girl,what can I possibly do?Can't tell others,a secret....Because,we don't want them to worry about it too..So I should know that I have no time for all my personal stuff...The world don't revolve around me,it revolve around everyone..So no time,no energy to entertain my stupid bullshit story...

PS:I have to be fearless,but how can I when I have so much to fear about?

With love,elis

2009-12-05T13:05:00.004+08:00

A NEW BEGINNING.

Dearest reader,
Haven really been myself lately but I think,I'm so over the past me...Okay.don't really get what I mean? heheh~It's simple,I'm just getting back on track~Actually,without those lovable sweet words,I would still be confused and frustrated..But no longer will I(:So,thanks..

I should feel lucky instead,having good friends and supportive family around me,making my life better and interesting..Also,they have never failed me..It would be a dumb idea to not be friend with them..hahas(:Neglecting,a big NO!So hereby,I'm smiling and laughing..Saying that,no matter what I'll never give up and also,never to be sad(:It does look ugly when you're sad....It's true to say that you've been there,done that before..I believe..Love is not everything but without love you're not complete~hehe!

Yesterday,I realise that my grandpa was gone for 1 year..Time really do passes by very fast..Thinking of what I was doing back then,still hurts but not to the extend anymore..Just a fade away pain..Just wanna say that I still remember you,still misses you,still having lots of regrets..But I believe,you can..See,hear and comfort us,right? You'll always be by our side..Perhaps?I could see that my sisters and I have moved on,but,my grandma,dad and aunt did not...Maybe the older you get,the more fear you have? So I will held on to my youth and do whatever I wan cause I have less fear to fear...

PAIN~

Gosh,my neck hurts like hell..I think I didn't sleep in a correct position..hahahs,stupid!Anyway,today is my mum's birthday and I hope that she will be happy about what we had planned for her...She 's my beloved mum and hereby,wishing her A happy birthday and may all her wishes come true(:

PS:I would rather to have loved and lost than to have never lost before..I'm doing a replay,care to join~

With love,elis(:

2009-11-22T18:49:00.006+08:00

A lyric so real!! READ CAREFULLY AND DO GO LISTEN..

I took a chance,I took a shot and you might think I'm bulletproof,but I'm not..You took a swing,I took it hard and down here from the ground I see who you are..I'm sick and tired of your attitude,I'm feeling like I don't know you,you tell me that you love me then you cut me down..I need you like a heartbeat but you got a mean streak which makes me run for cover when you're around..And here's to you and your temper..Yes,I remember what you said last night and I know that you see what you're doing to me..tell me why?You could write a book on how to ruin someone's prefect day..well I get so confused and frustrated..forget what I'm trying to say...I am sick and tired of your reasons,I got no one to believe in..You ask me for my love then push me around..
Why..do you have to make me feel small so you can feel whole inside?..
Why..do you have to put down my dreams so you're the only thing on my mind?..
I take a step back,let you go..I told you I'm not bulletproof..Now you know..Do you see?[Taylor swift-tell me why]

PERHAPS I'M WRONG ALL ALONG OR?~

Since I had already did everything I can,I should just let it be..Though,I do not know where I should start or how should I stop,I still have to give it a try..Can't put on a long face,it'll just make the people around me worry..So it's time I put on my smile!
At least,I don't have a sucking feeling inside,the struggling of saying everything and seeing you but doing nothing I want..I did something and I'm glad I did..Or,I'll be still hanging around like a fool..No matter what it goes to,friend are forever(:I had remembered to smile as it's over and don't cry because it happened before..But why,I still do feel sad,so lost in direction..Feel like I'm stuck in a juggle,trying to find a way out..Will I find one?

However,can I have a tiny small wish before everything stop..I wanna have one day just one..Because memorise stay and photo too but not people....Perhaps,it's weird,it's scary,it's shocking,it's unbelievable,it's crazy,it's just beyond my control..It happen without me knowing...But I could stop living in regrets as I did wat I should,said what I can...I would rather die of embarrassment than die of regrets..Embarrassment? How long could it last? Regrets follow and last forever...Sorry if I spoil anything,perhaps I'm born to be a destroyer,in a good way and sometimes in a bad way..heheh~ But still,if I don't destroy,I dunno who I am,what I am here for? Juts kidding but that's about what I'm trying to say...about being myself..They are right,I can't let it dominate my life,just LET IT BE..A phrase I just learnt! Stupid to learnt it now?But useful to use it now..hahah...

Patience,time,wait..Is in my dictionary but most importantly,I gotta enjoy my life..I'll finally live my own life and not keep talking about how to live my life..I am really serious about what I do and said here..and I promise I will do it..Who said that promise are meant to be broken!! For me,I will change it,I will not break any..Promise meant for life till you fulfil it..Understand the terms of promise so don't anyhow make one...

I learnt that action is more than words but it can't be taken to serious thought..It doesn't count, so,in another sense..If action w/o words and words w/o action..It is ZERO! Only with the actions and words then everything counts..Perhaps sometimes,you needed to see...Tears are lesson,remember,I said it before..Yet I went for a lesson again..A serious one..Give me time,I'll slowly understand what it mean and what I gain from this lesson..Sorry for making that emo me,sorry for being stupid and stone!! Standing,sitting,talking like a stone..hahahas! I won't anymore..I'm alive..so much alive..Lastly,I really do wanna thank everyone for the surprise(: I do love it..

When a cup is full and overflowing..You gotta empty it before putting anything in again..My cup is full,can't fill anymore..If I don't pour the water away,my cup will break~I'm fighting till the end(: are you ready?

PS:Actually,no matter what others say,I'll continue and I'll thrive through..Just waiting,it's not hard.

2009-11-13T20:25:00.003+08:00

THE PAST V.S THE PRESENT!

Dear reader,
Wondering what's going on my mind today?ahhahas..Something about the past and the present..

My dearest grandfather,it had been quite some time since I talk about you,right?Perhaps you thought that I had forgotten about you and had carried on living my own life..Part of it is true,but I will never forget you,not a chance...hahhas! I just thought of you,this morning....

Thinking about the time when you knock on the door and told me that it's super late,better get up now! Or else,the sun is gonna burns you..hahas..Also,the time when you would just quarrel with me and make me angry on purpose..Part of life you will say and without this,you said it's not fun! I could still vividly remember the time you avoid the injection in front of me as I'm afraid of it..You didn't said you did it for me,but I have eyes I could see..Everything you had did,will always stay in my heart..I'll never forget neither will I cry upon thinking cause I was just smiling while thinking~~

The only regret I had was,too little time,too fast...It was our family gathering every sunday but why...I didn't see you anymore?We would always hide in the kitchen as we kinda find them irritated..We shared the same interest but it is also this which cause us to quarrel for most of the time..I shouldn't have waste my time arguing with you..I'm so dumb!I should know that you're older and more wise than me...hahahs!

Although,you will never get a chance to see my score for o-level,my 21st birthday and my first boyfriend,it's okay..You will know that I will do the best in anything and everything right..I really do hope that you will see my result and say that I did a good job,I only wanted to hear you saying that,what other people said,don't matter..You mkae me believe in myself...No need to prove to others..hahahs,funny indeed..I would also want you to see and tell me that,I had finally found the right one...Remember? I said I would find one on my 18th birthday,I don't know if it would come true..hahahs,that's was my dream and wish...Perhaps you know everything that I wanted to say and do...

Grandpa,now I really needed you to give me the advice you would once give...I really dunno how to,what to do...I don't have the courage to go for it,nor did I know if I should take it on? Erm...let me think....You would probably say wait and decide or you gotta do what you feel right??I know i know,but this time I just ran out of answer for myself,I needed someone else to tell me the situation,I am inside not outside of the story...hahhas...Fine...everyone else will still be giving me the same answer...Okay,I will...DO my best??

PS:I would really want you to see my step,one step at a time...I want you to be my footsteps..Will you?

2009-11-12T11:14:00.004+08:00

DID I MISS OUT ALL THE FUN?

Perhaps,I only cared about how and what I feel? What about the other people,their voice,did I try to understand or look into it? I didn't...Maybe if I did try,things will change..Maybe a little more fun in my life,a little more colour added..But,whatever I said now is useless...I was merely thinking about what I feel back then,why did I make that choice?I don't even know,I don't think I even think..haha! Anyway,what past is already past..Shall not dwell over it..Having to think back is so unhealthy so move on I should have said!

It's not me that kept changing my mind,everyone is doing the same too,agree?Influence by this globalising world,haha..Nah,not really..Maybe it's the people~Yes yes no no...Stop switching side and stop changing the answer..HAIZ!!! Just feel like shouting out...Everybody,I said freeze!!

Only when the world stop for awhile,could everyone see what they have done..either wrong or right?! But mostly,are bad ones...I don't know why too...hahas...

You could do a million of good deeds but you just need one mistake to make me remember for life...And to forget every good deeds you did...WHY? A million to one..We should remember the good thing more but truth is we don't...Not anymore...We do that just on the outside but deep down it is etched to our heart!

Hey people,have you ever did something wrong and cause you to lose everything you had...I did and you know what.....You can gain back everything just to persist and you can....I didn't believe that impossible is nothing but now I am slowly believing..You too should do your best,give it a try,you have nothing to lose anyway...So don't wait...Go now!! If you are trying,I give you my best wishes..

With love,

PS:On 18 Nov,I will make a miracle so give me a little courage and support my decision..k?

2009-11-09T15:01:00.003+08:00

READING SOMETHING NEW!

DEAR READER,

Gosh,I could feel the boredom in me!! I am soon gonna bored to death.....Other than eating,sleeping and playing,there's nothing else left to do~In this case,who wouldn't get bored....

Haiz,nvm...WenT to buy a new book by Mitch-A little faith,it's based on a true story so I bet that it would be nice?So in conclusion,I now have four things to do every day,which is sleeping,eating,playing and reading!! Ahhh..........can't stand it,thought that it should be a relief that o's is nearly over but now I would rather,it's not...At least,I have a goal I must reach everyday...How do I live my life to the fullest when there is nothing much I could think of to do?

Erm....hahhahas,perhaps it's just today or yesterday I'm feeling bored cause there are many event coming up..For example,class chalet and definitely my birthday and Christmas...I hope that this year,there will be something new and fresh..Having the same celebration feel is just not enough!! Festivals atmosphere are dropping so do/create some new stuff to maintain or improve it...Can you still feel the Christmas feel? I don't think so? Singapore is way too small to really have any feel and also there's no four season!! WINTER!! Oh maybe we do have snow,a man-made artificial one..hahahs(:At least,we know that Singaporeans are not dumb at all........

I should probably ask myself this question twice before doing anything else....I'm really frustrated by you,okay actually is your action..You kinda make me puke seeing the way you act and do...It's hard to picture it but I could feel that irritated emotion inside me...I DO not want to feel this way,but I can't stop...This shows that I still could not let it go? Don't wanna hurt nor do anything to harm you again...We just had enough of the drama,so stop it ,okay? Perhaps I should make a deal to myself...STOP FEELING THIS WAY,it might not be what you think it is!! Curiosity kills so do misjudging a situation...Think twice I say and I will!!

PS:It's seem to be fine but it's not inside...You must know the insider's story!

2009-11-06T21:22:00.002+08:00

IF YOU'VE FEEL IT TOO.

Dear reader,

I bet you have feel the same way like I do before..I mean the title...Action is clearer than words right? If it is so,why can my action be any clearer? Are you blind or you did it on purpose...Anyway,it's not the main point of my post today...It doesn't matter if (you) got it a not..After all,everything had already been fixed ever since we enter this world..So you still have to follow what had been planned for you right?hahahas(:

I do,I do...Miss the days I had,Miss the days of happily studying and definitely the days I make a fool of myself...It's was a prefect moment(: Now that I had done everything,I am bored thus thinking back the effort I put in..

Your style,your attitude,your silent is unique but a little too weird..Anyway,final decision still lies with me,as I had said it's like banging on the wall..Perhaps I don't mind or maybe at the very last minute I might fear and change my mind..Sometimes,I wish that I could have the courage to do the things I want,say whatever I feel..That's so much easier to live my life..Let me ride another crazy ride and do another foolish thing..hehehhe,I wanna wanna dance all night up!!

PS:I could smell this sweet scent in the air,can you?

2009-11-05T16:58:00.002+08:00

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY ~

Dear reader,

My papers are almost over,just one more to go..When everything seems to go back to the original route,I see clearer..I've been distanced away from few (used to be) close frens..Now,it just seems that we are walking different ways..It do hurts as the days we had together are diminishing..So to save my world,save the old times...I have got to do a very important mission!!

WHICH is................to communicate with them all over again....Remember,frens go through hardship and that memories are unforgettable..So just a little snap and they will remember the good times we once had together..hehhe! Sounds like a workable plan,it might,it might work out right(:Never a tough job in my life...

Saying about this,there is this particular mission that I find it difficult to carry out..Unable to explain lot but I have lots to work on...Haiz,still I said work on...I have thought of giving up...Can't take it,then why not leave,why make myself suffer? hahahs,I don't get myself too...

Perhaps,the reason is hidden too deeply down..If it's a YES,just tell me out loud...If its a NO,I will also accept...I just wanna know the real reason for my mission?You could,tell me..........................

PS:I didn't change a single thing,it's you that changed..I don't expect more anymore..Just one more(:

2009-11-05T00:05:00.002+08:00

PERHAPS I KNOW..

Dearest reader,

Wondering why I still up and blogging,simply I can't sleep..Took a nap in the afternoon and I'm thrill about tmr test..The ending of the important tests and enjoyment awaiting(: Gosh,I had really felt the successful in me as I did study real hard..It was the first time in my life,that I'm putting every bit of my brain juice in every tests..Hahahs,but effort do pay off..I can play at ease,as no matter what the results are,I'm already glad...Results don't really counts,what matters most is the process I went through~~I'll enjoy the days,perhaps the last few weeks of my secondary school life with my best buddies and also hereby wishing them the best!

Have I ever stop to think about the decision and path I once made?Did I regretted,I may or may not,but I can't seem to remember..Whenever I try to have a stand/a say,bad thing come break it down? I just dont get it right..7 out of 10,I am doing the wrong choice,being a fool,living a lie..

I should now try to think before I say or make a move,it's time I grow up,it's time for me to learn...It's time I walk my path alone,facing all the challenges...Everyone had their hard time and everyone got over with it..I think I am just having mine now,and I will get over with it...Remember,I am not that weak after all,overcome all these,just a small rocky surface for me..

If I had another time to go back to past,I will still choose the same old one...Maybe even is I knew it was a dead end,I will still bang my head and try my best to make a invisible wall through the dead end..hahahas,there's always a way out right? Be positive and everything will shine,even the floor will show you the way out...

Having a smile,is like having the sun on your face..So do keep that smile fix on that pretty face..You'll definitely look better..But! Must be a lively one not a dead one,k? heheh(:

Do you want me to smile,do you want my happiness to continue? If you want,never let my family and frens leave me and never let me let them down...God is in the heaven,guiding us the right way out...So whenever there's an entertainment/enjoyment...You'll eventually find me(:

Peace and love...Good night...Perhaps is morning...Night night then..Lastly,do you all know that yellow is the colour that can make you happy?Bet that you dunno..heheh!

PS:I would rather be defeated by my principles than to win on lies.

2009-10-23T18:35:00.004+08:00

I'M SORRY FOR SAYING THAT..

Dearest reader,

I had make the worst mistake of my life today,how could I say something so harsh to her,she didn't do anything to deserve this! I'm just so selfish that at that moment I could only think of myself~~He is the one that made me mad,not you..Why didn't I think before I say??!! She might not be able to handle another blow...

However,I merely wanted to go back where I should and the place I could really study!! Why do you reacted so vigorously to it,why did you cry..She is my family too and she is really as much important as you,she is my life too!!! I do care about you too,just that living here is like hell!
I care take it any longer too,why do you give me so many restrictions,why must you control my life,my action and time..My every minutes don't belong to you BUT me!!...Perhaps,if you back off a little,give me a little space,I would have never said that,it would never cross my mind...
I don't hate you,I just can't seem to breath when I'm in here...

I do ,I know that I ought to say SORRY to you but I can't bring myself to..Why? After every single fights,neither will one parties make the first move?

Do you know that quarreling with me break the promises I gave him,it also break my heart to see that I can do anything right,can't do anything I promises!! Just a pathetic person,can't do anything big..You made me heartless,you made me care less about this family,made me stop telling them how I feel..You made me the worst person in me...And because of you,I lost everything!!I can't do this anymore!

PS:Whisper to me,tell myself where I am,bring me back to everything I once had with.....I needed you.

2009-10-20T18:30:00.001+08:00

DOUBLE AND MORE

Dearest reader,
Wow,it's been a difficult time for me to take some time out and relax..
The atmosphere is totally tense up and each passing day,the tension grow...I wonder how,where,do I have the time to study,have I study much-able to score well? That's a tough question! No matter how much I had studied,it's never enough?!I don't understand maybe it's the matter of confidence or perhaps I'm over reacting..I merely wanted to use the rest of my time to study and so I could relax after o's~Once started,time flies!

Trying my best to maintain my health-physically and emotionally..It's really important,I don't want myself to be falling sick during the exams..After 11 years of study,this is the moment of whether you had put in all in use or you had just wasted 11 years! It's really terrified to know the truth,it's even horrifying if you failed!Therefore,just a few more weeks,buck up everyone(: Channel every last bit of your energy and you will see your effort being paid off..

Literally,I have been studying for the past few days..Incredibly,I have never had the thought to play nor relax..Instead I am loving the kind of attitude I'm having~I've found that studying or playing,it's almost the same thing..It's just, playing give you that ecstatic feel for the very first moment while studying give you the sense of fulfillment when you got back your result!! So which won't you choose.Actually,you could have both..I had chose to play first and thus I'm studying now~~At least,I did enjoy my last year in sch with my fellow classmates and friends,I am contented!!

PS:O's I'm waiting patiently and I'm ready for it(:Lastly,take good care and do your best..Your last breath!

2009-10-19T10:12:00.005+08:00

THE REVIVAL OF HOPE!

Dearest reader,
Gosh!O-level is going to start on this Thursday.I'm kind of jumpy yet elated that this day has finally arrive.I mean 'Let's just get over and done with it!'Hahahs~This few days,I have been writing quite a few composition so as to improve my writing and definitely to score well!My effort do pay off,I score a 19 instead of a 16..I was delirious upon getting my result and was really jumping up and down in joy!! Thinking back,I feel like laughing at myself~Now,I've got this great passion in English and Poa~Doing revision for these two subject was like a game rather than work..I would hope to score A1 for Poa and a B3 for English..(:It's not a non-realistic goal if I continue to work hard..

I knew that when the first exam starts,it'll be soon over for the rest.Time do passes by extremely fast so shall treasure my time wisely..Preventing any lose of time which will result in my lose of marks..Heheh(:
I will channel all my energy in studies,merely a few more weeks so bear with it..Endure and learn it~After finishing,I could enjoy all I want!
Hereby,wishes all of you good luck in o's and all the best..Let's work hard together,nothing is impossible..

PS:You can't be afraid of the consequences and stop you from playing the game.

2009-10-11T20:45:00.005+08:00

I AM REALLY REALLY...

Dear reader....

Can't explained how thrilled I am for a new week and all the lessons! Somehow,I really longed for lessons and to study..I just wanna study and study cause I don't wanna fail my O-level~Haas,too late to realise? Luckily,I have long started but not fully charged so now gotta work harder and double of what I had done previously..Life had never been so amazing till today this moment..I really have the urge to live my every day to the fullest and this time I am not joking around..I feel that I don't have much time left to complete what I want in my secondary life..Few more months and my secondary life will be gone..Disheartened indeed but still life can't stop at one stop for too long..Time move and so we follow...Hhahhas,sounded rather gloomy so shall not talk about the things or perhaps what we will be missing after we left~ Now,let's talked about what I have done-I did 2 topics of poa tys and there are 3 more topics to go in order to finish the whole book..I really wanna score A1 in poa(: Oh ya,I have also finished a composition about friendship and the content was really funny! However,I don't know what will be the score for this paper..I been doing so many compositions yet I am still stuck with a 16 marks~~ Therefore,I am now trying different ways of writing it so as to score better, not a 16...!

Let's say:"Life is great." Full of excitements and surprises~ I do love it and I wanna create some for someone..Maybe,perhaps I am really going with my flow,after much considerations,I still come back to my first choice,but this time a different way of handling it..I do..I do....hahahas,
the time will come or maybe never but I'm already delight with this feeling of mine...No one can take it nor destroyed it..Just like force can't be destroyed nor lose so where did it gone to?
It has become a comfort,a sense of belonging and s little happiness/contented~~Do you know?
1 day and a 100 days,there's no different.. I still feel the same!

Anyway,for my frens inform,I had finished doing the graduating gifts and I really do hope that all of you will like it..Be elated about it okay? Love, like and dote...

I do misses my sisters and definitely my mummy..It should be the fourth day in china today,I hope that they are having fun and indulging in the food?hahahs,Most importantly,god bless them and take good care of themselves..I love them too much that there's no words to express..
Only till today,I found out that my life w/o them are indeed lifeless,thought that I don't need them but I'm so wrong..I'm so ecstatic that they msn me yesterday!..hehhe..Misses and kisses!

PS:Goodnight then everyone,do take good care as o-level is drawing near..

2009-10-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

A DAY OF LONELINESS~

Dear.....,

Today was the first day and actually it's not as bad as I thought it would be..So nothing much to nag cause I think I had nagged enough today(: Other than that,I do hope that they will enjoy their days and also buy some cute stuffs back for me..hehehe!

There is another thing that I wanted to say~The main idea of the what I'm about to say is CHANGES! Let me ask all of you a question,Do you think you can accept changes? There are two different types,some can and some cannot..Like what my teacher said-Can means can,cannot means cannot...And for me,I really think I can't and I dont like it at all~However,if they change then we will change too so in the end,everything come back to square 1..No matter which way it is,no matter how hard it is..They are always the one we love and even though they might have changed,we love and accept it..Adapt the right attitude and everything will turn out fine..

Has it all ended? I mean the invisible war fighting inside us? However,I just dont think it turn out the right way..A end but not a peaceful one~Perhaps,it's better this way..I will never understand the reason behind it but I know my reason for doing it..I have never really meant what I say,maybe my little action did hurt you but I cant possibly know,right? Maybe I'm the one to say that everything is over,a rest and it'll last...Silents always accompany when I wanted so much to start a conversation..Hah! But never mind,my choice and always,everything just dont seem to be that way..No acting,no doing and now I can say-my shoulders are light and I know from now on,everyone,things will turn out to be just right(:

PS:It's right that bad and good luck do take their turn..

2009-10-05T15:04:00.003+08:00

SENSE OF BELONGING GONE!

Dear reader,

Today was a bad and gloomy day for me,I feel so lost and it seems like there is no place foor me to go..It is like I am a dead body! I can't walk,I can't run,I feel so irritated and sad..
I wonder-Is these all a act? Why do you only treat me the right way,when in fact you don't care if I'm alive or dead? I really hated what you're doing to me,it's a misery and I'm the one experiencing it,not you~~You will never understand how extremely difficult it is now~I can't breathe,can't see nor feel a single thing..

Suddenly,I feel so lonely..My family is leaving Singapore in 2 more days and I am down with flu.Feels like I have to take care of everything on my own.Independence,it's so hard but now I have to learn and get it right..Everything seems to be further away and it feels like I am being abandon.I know it is wrong to think this way but I can't hep but to..Try to be in my shoe and you will know how much harder it seems..I thought that I am perfectly fine with it but in fact I am not! I can't bear to..I thought that I am not stress but I can tell you that I am super stress up and I can't think properly! I am making all the wrong decision and I can't stop! I dunno what else I could do,I don't wanna cry but everything seems to trigger my tears..I just wanna know what's wrong with me..I could always stand up and stay strong but these few days,I just cant...I dont have the courage nor do I have the strength to carry on...Now,I am doing all those wrong thing to highlight it,to punish myself? But the point is I dunno why I am doing so!! I feel so dumb and foolish...you promise that you will be there but you don't.Why lie to me?Why is everything important but not me?!!I dunno,I really dont..I no longer have a back to fall on to.. I have to keep a secret for their change which makes me feel so damn..I hated their acts,lies and to keep this secret!!The ugly side that I am facing,I cant do it anymore..

If you wanna leave,just be it..Just dont come back anymore..Since the day you left,everything changes..The change in me are unbearable and is suffocating me! I'm afraid that I can't be who I am anymore,the real me seems to be drowning...I really cant take it,not a single blow anymore....How can I free myself again? I seem to hate everyone,everything...Help me.It's dying inside.

2009-09-25T20:31:00.002+08:00

MAYBE IT'S BETTER TO FACE IT.

Dear reader,

Lately I have been not quite myself,finding myself irritated at most of the time and didn't care about any other thing concerning about me..I thought that isolating myself is a good way,I thought it is better for us to be this way,I really didn't care about how you all feel,I just think about myself..Now,I wonder how selfish I am and I'm really sorry for that..Things hasn't been looking good for me and it just seems that everything went crashing down..However,now I know how to take things one step at a time and I'm really doing my best to be a better person..Learning from all those bad points..During this depression,I thought I will lose everything I have but my dear frens make me realise that,everything can be solved,everything will be okay and make sure that I'm alright..For that,I really wanna thanks you and I think I will not be able to post this post without those encouraging words..I hope when you're down,I'm able to do the same thing,treating you the right way..Let's us be friends and forever!(:I believe we will.

Do you know,I put up a mask,thinking that you will like it but in the end you didn't even bother..Worst of all,this mask seems to make things worst so I am taking it off..Luckily,it is not too late to take it off^^ So here I go,I'm free..Why make things seem so difficult to deal with when I could just smile it off..No matter it's the old or new me,I am still me and this will never change~I just shouldn't be bad to ignored everything and reject everyone..Isolating? I will think twice(:

PS:I'm sorry for my actions but I'm happy to say that you all stay.^^

2009-09-22T18:41:00.009+08:00

FINDING A PLACE IN THIS WORLD!

Dear reader,

Yesterday had been a wonderful day,a worthwhile trip to science center and definitely everything I learn will stay in my brain forever! Someday,you should take some time off and visit it,I'm certain that you'll love it-no matter how young or old you are..I've also taken some pictures and will post it real soon when my sister uploaded it(: And wow that is all for yesterday,it's was a long day but I don't really have much to talk about it..So now,I shall proceed on to tell you what happened today!! I was glad that science P1 was at 11 am because I simply can't wake up at 6 am today..! It was rather easy but I am afraid that there will be a lot of tricky questions which I might just get tricked by it~However, I will still pass right? Calculating the percentage,I think I will,so I can say for now-no worries..~Ya,today I had watched a movie named " the ugly truth",guess what it was so right about we-human beings...It was totally amazing that actually we do know what human thinks and the FUNNIEST IS that everyone are actually thinking the same way!! Okay,I bet you will understand what I mean once you watch that show..It's a wonder to learn about how people think and that's my hobby(:...I totally love to see how different people answer to the same question..It's fun right?? Okay back to reality~~~
Let's talk about my phone,and YES my phone spoil again..Am I in some kind of bad luck,hahahs!
Seem like everything is going haywire and that's so not good,spoiling my day!...Therefore bad luck bad luck can you go away?! Gosh,that's was stupid..But once again,it will be gone,soon I hope...Anyway,if you wanna reach me,I bet you will be able to right..For now,I am shutting down my phone and every possible connection..Sometimes,I just hated what technology had brought us...SO why not just take it away,and enjoy the moment you once had experience? It will be good? Lastly,just wanna tell all of you that I have been writing my blog for 1 year,time really passes by very fast..

PS:You're able to walk a metre and so I believe you're able to climb a mountain~You can,you really do(:^^ Goodbye and take care..

Once again sorry for those small words,can't change cause it will be ugly for all those big letters to appear in this blog(: So kindly bear with it,I will find a way~

2009-09-20T18:50:00.003+08:00

PATHETIC AND CRUEL!

Dear reader,
Today was a fine day,except that I had breakfast with my mother side family and it was a special one..A warmth and in another sense it was totally weird and funny.Perhaps it's been a long long time since we had one!After that,I went to tuition as usual and literally did the same thing~However,something terrible happened on my way home....I was walking form the bus-stop to the lift when I found a hamster cage! I was shocked,thinking that maybe someone had forgotten to take it home but when I took a closer look at it,the hamster was full of injuries..Gosh,you should have seen it and you will know what I meant when I say FULL! There was bloodstain on its flesh and the hamster was drained..Obviously,it was being abandon...Therefore,I called my sis and she suggested of taking it to a nearby pet shop,I did what she told and in the end the hamster found a new home..A better and a more comfortable one! At least it was free from suffer though I dunno how long can it still live as it look rather weak at that time..But I do hope it could enjoy the last few moment of its life...Now I wondered if I were to leave it there,what will happen...Will it get more abuse from other kids or maybe someone will adopt it..How I wished I could keep it,but I can't!! Gosh~Anyway,everything had end for that poor little hamster..SO believe that one day someone will just give you their hand and lead you out of the darkness where you can start afresh..It's just when and where and who?
Something good/something bad coming your way..Overcome the bad ones and treasure the good ones(:

PS:You might not know how much you mean to me,but you really do mean a lot lot(:^^Take care and bye bye~

2009-09-16T16:57:00.006+08:00

THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE!

Another day had past and I wonder what I have learn or perhaps what I had done for the whole day?Is it happy or sad,bored or fun,fully used or empty promises?Sometimes,ideas or theory will strike my mind,making me think-sometimes I love it but sometimes I don't! I had seen a very young boy taking care of his family,at that very moment,I felt rather disappointed in myself..He was so much more younger than me and yet he knew a simple logic and even had the patient to do it.As for me,I did it half-heartily..Perhaps if I were to be like him,I would create a better relationship with my grandmother..Perhaps if I had more patient,I will be able to do a better job in taking care of her..This was the first scene I saw.The next was heart-breaking...
I saw an elderly carrying heavy load of plastic bags,dragging her way home...I had this sour feeling inside but what more can I do? Going up to help her which I don't think I'll have the courage to do it? And now I wonder courage in helping someone,do we need it?..People are kind and they do not help due to some reasons-afraid of being scold by the person-afraid of the consequences or lastly it's a shame in their friends' eyes?..If you fell on the third reason,you're so wrong..People will laugh at you at first but deep down they thought of helping too just didn't have the courage like you..So call yourself a hero and call them the coward instead....The rule around the world are in a big mess,I'm not referring to the gov rule but the rule in our heart or maybe brain? Thinking about it,is it worth giving out for some stupid reason..SO now let's gather up all our courage and do the thing you think/know is right!!

Everything you do,there's a reason behind it..What if I told you that I could see through your lies or truth,what if I had long knew the motive of yours? If you were the one what would you do,treated like you dunno or confront the person or maybe plotting to revenge? Different ppl have different views,it's up to you to choose..However,people are always covered by anger and misunderstanding happens~~

PS:Anger don't come alone,jealousy/envious comes along(: Believe it or not..Goodbye & take care

2009-09-15T15:39:00.002+08:00

Yawn!

Had prelim math and English papers today.I don't think I am going to pass for math paper 1,for me it's difficult but for some of my classmates,it is easy..hahhas(:However,for English it was easy yet not really that simple~Gosh,it's so complicating.Actually,I have nothing much to say either..Don't wanna further elaborate anymore..

Though the results do counts,there is something as important as this which is the path we took..Sometimes,the end is the start,there is always a twist to everything..So just sit back and relax...Having a vision of something,a bad feeling but I hope everything will turn out fine-just a little twist and I will be alright~

PS: There's something which only family could give and you could only get it from them..Learn will ya!

2009-09-11T17:18:00.004+08:00

HOT AND COLD!

My one week holiday was super good! Because I play whenever I want and do whatever I feel..
However,I know that after this week,I'm going to bury myself in studies and thus wouldn't be able to enjoy anymore~hahhas(:

There is always a time for departure even if there's no specific place to travel to.Maybe it's the turn now so I shall not hesitate..I'll smile as there was once a path I once travelled with you,and now I'm doing my best to pack up my memorise and leave..You're just one chapter of my life,there are still more chapters for me to explore..Leaving with no burdens,I felt so free~~Can you hear the wind speaking into your ears,the sun rays shining on your face and the smooth and happy pace of yours?
Just wanna say that I'm really glad to be a part of this particular event of yours(:

2009-09-03T18:38:00.015+08:00

I'M FALLING DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU!

Wahahha! Hello people out there,my frens were saying that my blog is dead as there's no pictures..Therefore here to upload just one and also elaborate more about teachers' day!.

I had baked cookies for my teachers-Firstly,mrs tey who give her heart and soul just to teach us! Secondly,Mr jude ang,the best for teacher who dote and care for us most! Thirdly,Mr Ng who always try his best to make geo lesson interesting! Fourth,Miss robert who correct us and guide us through all difficulties...Lastly,Mr tan,our physic teacher though he had left,he will always be the best physic teacher in our heart..W/o him,physic lessons are damn boring~~heheh(: I hope that they had enjoyed their day and also thanks them!

I should have taken some photo of my cookies,Steph said it was nice and I really do hope..(: Haiz,a few more days to o level,I am really nervous!! Argh...........................I'm so tired but still hanging on,cause i know I will overcome it..Just do it!! Study study study..That's what I'm doing~

Bullshit about what you say because I sense it differently..Is it real? I wish that it is,I can't take another blow..This time just let it come true,a wish I had been wishing for..Though,I feel that it's still far away,I know that I'll make it come closer to me(:

PS:If a smile could kill you,I will fix it on my face..If my words can heal you,I will chant it to you.If your feelings are real,I will start this journey with you..Just tell me.PEACE XD

2009-08-31T17:13:00.003+08:00

STORY 2~

More complications in her life....As she did not say what she intended,no one taught her lesson-what's right or wrong..She assumed that everything she did was right,and even when it's wrong she could just turn it back to right track..People,frens and family did not tell her,maybe because they thought she was right because whatever she said seemed to make sense..So they thought why doubt her??..So she continue her life in the wrong way,treating people by her mood..She was being held high up in the sky,she'll never know how it feel to fall...However,luck was not on her side every day,finally bad luck came and definitely she fell..Fallen deep down,everything she tried to get want wrong,nobody seemed to understand what's she's pursuing..Only she,herself knew it!! Bad luck stay with her,hurting her not once but twice...She dunno if she should go for it,she dunno if she could hold on any longer...Some times,she feel like giving up,giving everything away again...But thinking back how she got everyone back,she just can't bear to~~ What will she do,to pursue with scars and non-stop battles or just give it up....Her decision,she went crazy about but she knew what she want and she hope she will have the courage and determination to hang on,cling on to it...She believe it's never the end of the story...W/o a stop from you,her journey will continue~~~..................

PS:Being nice-there's a limit,please don't go beyond it if you don't mean it....Please don't misunderstand my meaning,not sure you may ask but I can't guarantee that you'll have an answer..(: have a nice day*

2009-08-29T22:32:00.005+08:00

STORY 1~

There has never been a trouble for her,she was a strong-headed girl and have no fear! However,after years of pursuing and nothing in return,her faith shaken~She can't trust her own judgment,wondering if it's the correct one.People started doubting her but some supported her.
Over time,those who have been supporting her got tired of her thoughts of distrust and they started to have conflicts with her.Therefore,she felt that she causes everything to go wrong even problems to her friends and adding more burden to them..Her thoughts went wild and crazy,she doubt her ability to cope with the thing she have and so she decide to throw it all away,assuming that this was the best choice! She didn't know what's wrong or right,she felt that it's hopeless and can't see further,she wast stuck into the ground so deep that she cannot climb up~She was exhausted and soon gave up..Looking up into the sky where she was stuck to,she saw something she will never see..A wide blue sky which was so beautiful and it has always been there,why didn't she notice it..The only limit was the sky,she should not forces anything to go her way,shouldn't be that stubborn,she was too naive..Now,she think back......Why did she hurt her frens who were always there,treated them like nothing but a bit of rubbish-able to throw and take back..She tried her best to pull out her legs and ran as fast as she could to tell them how important they were in her life..However,when she got there,her courage was gone..And the only thing she said was craps and as her frens they forgave her,w/o knowing he real reason! She continue to live her life,hiding the thing she wanted to say and just hope that everything will be fine....She never know these cause more trouble and brought more complications to her life....which is....................................~~ahhahahs!! Stay tune..

PS:It's been years,I've lose the feeling of being treated as one piece....

2009-08-27T06:47:00.000+08:00

BE KIND TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

HELLO everybody!It's had really been a long time since I posted,due to the stress load,can't really afford to waste my time.However,I can't let my blog rot or maybe I just wanna post(: Either way! I've been really stress up these few days,not only because of 'o's but lots more!-Friends,family and worst of all THE THOUGHTS that is running in my damn it brain!Sometimes,I hope that everything will be clearer for me to understand better,but the truth is hidden and I have to find the answer myself~Do you know how I feel? It's rather complicated;) Life is like a high wall,a waterfall,a mountain or anything you can think of..After all it is the same theory,you will have a depression and a peak in your life..So never think you will be bad luck nor good luck for your entire life..Now,I'm riding a roller costar and it's so scary that I left the seat! However,I love the risk,the adventure and the journey but I dunno if I will get the ticket again-the same old ticket for the same old ride! If you were to give me a choice,a chance to return,I will choose to stay in the cabin/ride and never get down,not even if you push me away! That's the attitude I should have,I was just wondering what had make me forgotten all about this,the never give out spirit? I should have believe myself,should have followed my instinct yet I did the opposite..And now I injured and lost my courage!How could I get up again? It'll take a long time but by the time I recover will I still have that same chance? I'll never know,I'll confirm,only when you tell me I will,I will believe..
A girl just pursuing her dreams,came down to the bottom of the sea,can't see anything but heard everything.She stood near but you didn't notice,she just hope you could turn around,and maybe her life will change,so will you take her hand and accompany her through her difficulties.Telling her that everything will be alright and with you,she has nothing to feared.Few months later,you finally saw her but you didn't do anything to get her attention.Thus,she left and continue her journey.Just when she thought she could stand again,you appeared and she was shocked.She thought you will tell her everything you've been hiding from but you just side beside her and no words spoken.She indeed is sad but she dare not question you as she have no confidence if you feel the same way too.Both of them continue this journey with the accompany of silents..As for the ending,please imagine for yourself as it's unpredictable(:
What I'm trying to say here is you gotta go fir it no matter how far,how hard the journey is,your attitude will change every single thing.Sometimes,you think it's the end but it might not be.It just appeared to be but beneath it,is not!Even though you're dying inside,never give up,your spirit will guide you through.And it'll bring good thing to you and make miracles come true..I have never believe in fairy tales but I have just started to read one,I want and hope it to come true this time round..I will do my best,like what I used to say-I just hope it's worth the battle!!However,I need some time.
A shocking yet predicted story.A miracle created just for you.A mystery that you will figuring out.Lastly,if you don't open it up..It'll be a secret that you'll never know forever~~PS: I'm not joking,believe it or not..One day you will regret of you don't do your best for it now..You just gotta balance it well.

2009-08-05T19:09:00.003+08:00

I HAVE FINALLY GET IT RIGHT!

Hey,hi everyone! Good evening(:
It has been quite some time since I post..O-lvl is drawing near and definitely I am getting quite tense up! Also,have to work super hard thus I dun have the time to really post so shall sum up what had happen in the past few days..I have back the confidence I once had as my doubt are all clear,it's been so long-almost 1 year and now I know what I want to know,at least I have back the peace and no misunderstanding that I'm bad..No more!! Also,having back my old frens feel so good and happy..It's like gaining 1 million dollars in one night but money can't buy these!! hehehs(: I have always wonder a right and wrong choice but today,I believe no matter what decision you make it's a wrong and right one..Half half ba~ Course things do change and it's so unpredictable..So expect the unexpected! BELIEVE it or not,thing are not up to you to choose..
Totally feeling the happiness running up and down my body and some sense of peace which make me be who I am,doing things out of a crazy stupid reason-that's call fun and real!Without faking a smile anymore..

Gosh,today morning was a bad day..Does it mean that not knowing how to fold a star is not a girl? Although I dunno how to fold one,I am happy and glad I dunno..Need not to hurt my hand..hhaha,actually,you can't say this,it do hurt my feeling..But came to think about it,some girls who know how to fold may not be that lady-like too:p So stop comparing what should a girl know,it's just a star after all..heheh! Hurtful words dun hurt me anymore,try it again and I will bite you with my sharp teeth! It's just watching your every moves and never let you get near..
I will not hate a star because of what happen and what ppl said..Elis dun knw how to fold a star and that make up who I am..If folding a star is common than I'll be the outstanding one rather than what they said :" not a girl"!!!~~ Hhahha! I am of course one of a kind,everyone have a different beauty in them,search for it and you will be the most beautiful woman in earth! Believe you will be..Cause I believe so do you!! It's a must to think that way,gosh-my thick skin face:P lols! Shall end here,spending time posting-not worth it but once in a while it's okay..Byebye!

PS: I appreciate your kindness but I will stand on my own,just dun destroy what I believe in!
We're a gem to different ppl so just shut your eyes,ears to those who don't treat you like how you should be treated..I will do my best to hold my fren with both my hands!!

2009-07-25T14:45:00.002+08:00

I'LL SOON RECOVER(:

Hey guys! Have been a long time since i post and since I have the time now,I will write something about yesterday and blah blah blah~~Erm,let's start from Thursday...
I was feeling damn awful and had a fever of 39.2 thus didn't went school,instead went straight to the clinic.Actually,the first thing that came to my mind was-will I become a dummy,will my brain get burn..I was totally being paranoid!! ahhaha! Of course,I know the heat is still bearable.
On my way home from the clinic,I was wearing a mask and I look like a freak to people or maybe I look more like a person carrying virus(: However,it's for the best of them and definitely me!Preventing them from infected and also prevent myself from getting more complication~lols!
After I reached home and have my medicine,went to sleep again!Therefore for that whole day,I had been sleeping and eating..wahhaha,I wonder if I am fatter or skinner??!! That depend on what my frens got to say about it..hehhe~~ I am dying to go school now..Can't you hear me screaming:"BORED BORED"..Know what,I have been staying at home for three days!!~~I felt so terrible.As my parents wanted me to rest and don't allow me to go out..I was suppose to celebrate my BFF birthday today yet I gotta stay at home:(

However,I have gain some benefits from this two days MC.Being treated like a queen,that's the best part of falling sick..You do not need to do anything,one word and they will help!hahas,but I didn't took it for granted...Actually,I am more patient than before~~In love with the things I'm doing..

I'm feeling better,thanks for your concern(:It's definitely glad to have all of you around..You gave me something more than a medicine can..Great! I'll be alright in no time.No spreading of virus so don't stay too close;/

2009-07-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

THIS TIME!

Days went by and I felt so happy,content and confident that my life will be okay..However as quickly as the feeling came it would disappear and sadness start setting in again.Trying to find a routine which I can fall in to feel belong to my body and my body belonged to my life..Instead of wandering around like a zombie,watching everybody else life while I wait for mine to end..
Immobile for hours,did not know what's right or wrong and what should I do?
Thinking back,I wished that those argument that we had could be taken back,those nasty words I said could never be heard by you..My words had only been spoken in anger and I hope that it will not reflect any true feelings.I could have done so many right things if I were to be given another chance..I held grudges instead of forgiving you..I wished that all those memories are of good ones but those bad times kept coming back to haunt me..Everything had been such a waste and I'm so tired to stand and pick up these tiny shattered pieces of mine..I just want to leave it there and walk away..But why I can't?
I used to walk around doing nothing but a smile on my face,and would think about my own jokes that make me start giggling to myself.
Now,sometimes I would fall into days of deep dark and build up the strength to be positive and to snap out of it for another few days but the simplest and tiniest thing would trigger off my tears again...Somehow this was my routine,a tiring process and I find it hard to be battling with my mind.It was far stronger than what I could bear..Even though frens came and went,sometimes helping me with the tears and other times making me laugh..But in those laughter something is still missing..I never seem to be truly happy and I was waiting for time to pass..Tired of just existing,I want to live..
Right now,I could say out how I feel as while I'm writing these words,I wanted to live and just let it go..Even though,I dun have the confident in standing up and stop this routine,I still have to try right? Everything had its expired date..I know I'll be fine..Each day,I felt that the people around me are much more further away than I thought..Some had left and some stay.

PS:You're there,beside me although I can't see but I feel it..Give me the courage to overcome every small obstacles..I believe I'll move on with you..
(You're the fool)

2009-07-17T06:30:00.002+08:00

LACKING OF TIME!

Wondering and thinking is my care enough? I thought that I had care enough but in fact the truth is I didn't even really care..My neglecting had led to something bad and after this incident,I believe I would realise the importance of care and thus paying more attention to it(: Just hope that it's not too late now!
Also,I've been complaining about my time...Blahblahblah and having not enough time..This not apply to my studies but also my family,actually we do not know when they will be leaving us but that this moment I didn't really think or care that much..However,I think that I should fork out some time to understand my family members and communicates more..My time with them are running out-especially my grandmother..Everyone gotta go,it's just when? So now treasure everything,the days doesn't matter,as long as I have been able to let her life lives to the fullest every single day..That's more important...
Like what I had read-Numbers don't count,memories do~

Haven been able to tell you,I misses you..As time passes by,I felt that I'm alright..In fact I am but you still live in my heart..Sometimes I wonder when was the last time I had talk to you or just look at you..I am afraid I will forget everything we had did before but the feeling still(: No matter what you've been to a better place and I'm glad for you..Our love have never end not till the day we leave this world too~ Didn't been able to fulfil what I promises previously but now my mind is clear and I will..Reassuring the thing I'm doing and working hard for it to be true(:

Frens and family are the one I dote and love,cause who else could give you the same feeling and their scarification! Thus love ya...............~~~~ Misses,hugs and kisses!

2009-07-08T21:31:00.010+08:00

GONE TOO SOON - CONFUSION BUT CLEAR!

Wow,I am totally stressing and messing my life up!! Shall elaborate more about that..--This few days is the hardest days I felt..Having a home which you can't go back at the time you want? Resulted in roaming about!! Also,without my grandmother around,my time management was a total mess...However,she will be back soon,I hope..I can't really focus well and I cant even have a proper meal without her...Gosh,I feel so sick of this..Actually I dunno how I feel,it's just a strange feeling and I'm not really use to it...I should really spend more time with my family..
I'm sorry and I admit that I had neglected them,I was just too engross with having fun..Hahahs,anyway,without me planning a family outing,they will be planning too..For no reason,my mum book a chalet? I was astonished when I heard the news but after finding out the reason behind it,I'm just glad she did it...It's true that she could sense the distance and bonding between us thus she is making an effort to bring us together again(: She is really my wonderful mum! It's been 2 week since I have a heart to heart talk with her,I'm just too busy indeed!!
Everything I do or decide will have an oppose force which is-the chalet is going to crash with my tuition so I concluded that I'm not going to enjoy my day there as I gotta rush here and there!! Can't skip my tuition as o-level is coming..Frankly saying,I really gotta buck up asap or else die!

After battling for days,the war ended I think,I hope...Now,it's just me taking time to adapt to the new peace of it as the war lasted for a long period! Every breath I take in now,I can feel the peace and the beauty of this clean and green world,the slow pace I once felt is back!..hehehe(: It's an achievement,a success..I finally thrive through the hardship but I know there will be lots more awaiting,it's just not the right time yet...I'm prepare as I'll never give up and thus failure will not be in my dictionary..!

Can't believe I have that strength and patient to withstand it..I just cant believe(: hahahs! My spirit and theory is the best part of my living,the purpose that I live..I simply love it!

Lastly,gaining something is not easy,it takes time! I'll prove to you how much it can take for me to understand more about the truth(: Mask of strength,be by me...Why is there hidden word in people's life,why must it be a secret? It's a tough job to live underneath your own lies-white lies?
Give yourself a chance and also ive us a chance to understand the reason behind you doing it..We are your frens not enemy,you can choose not to trust but can I ask you how do you know if you have gain that person trust?? I can fake and tell a lie too,I'm not always the angel...Maybe once in awhile I prefer being the evil one? Lols! Please don't get shock,I'm not really that evil like what you all see on the TV! Dramatically changing,is it you or me?

PS:You'll never know the tough time I went through for you so don't jump to your conclusion,I hate that part of you! It's never about you,sometimes it just me..

Freaking blog,I posted such a nice and wonderful post-It was like a letter to my dear fren but I didn't save it and it's gone,I think it had a total of half of what I wrote for today I think there is 500 ++ words! AHHH,I feel so stupid leh,can I get it back,I wanted it badly..Gosh,that express everything,never gonna write the same one again thus I'm so sad and shall end here!

2009-07-07T21:46:00.002+08:00

YOU CAN USE ANY EXCUSE TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!

My sister told me a phrase,maybe most of you here have heard about it..However I will still tell you:'Smile as it had happen,dun cry because it's the past"...You're just glad that something so miracle had happen rather than your original bored life..You're willing to take the risk,no matter how many hardship you have to go through..Somehow,you just don't mind..But this risk is still a risk,it'll end one day..And when that day arrive,don't cry and don't be sad,it's a lesson to test your strength and to make you stronger,although it seems impossible to be back to your normal life,it just needed some time,some peace!...See the bigger pictures and then you'll feel better(:
After that misery,please don't give up on your life,live with it and make it better-a better person instead...Because you know that one day you will be as happy as you once were..Scar can't be heal entirely but it still do recover..Endure it,I believe you will have a great discovery when you stand again...Maybe you might think if this is the case why do people still try? Let me tell you,because they believe they control their life and chances are just in their hands!! They pursue and they are the winners..Also,will you let your chance slip through your finger,maybe you will but you're sure to regret..Regret with nothing..If you try,you regret with something,a success you earn/a pride in your heart that never melts...Our time know how you feel,expressing have no meaning cause no one can really understand..It just three more words left..--Leave Me Alone!
Cause this is the best medicine I am gonna get and I definitely know what's best for me(:
Give me back my faith,my trust and my sight to seek for my truth...

Living in the darkness or living in the warmth of the sun..They both benefit us.Without the both of them,we are nothing but a scary cat..Darkness give us the power,the courage and adventure to live on..And the sun embraces us,protect us and let our scar heal! So tell me how can we leave w/o them or just a single one...If you can live with just a single one,you're lying cause there's always a part of you or the old you who had lived in this best of both world!! Having plentiful of thing is still nothing,the point is how you use it...Byebye,working hard to see a result,I'm doing my best part here,hope you do yours too(: PEACE,XOXO!~

2009-07-06T20:32:00.004+08:00

NO PROMISES!

No one that you can really trust? I don't wish that this phrase is true but the cruel fact that it is!
When you're in different group with me,you simply don't treat the way you normally treat me..It's like you just change? And you know what is the cause for it,it's because you care more
for that person than me..Your happiness is my disappointment and sadness..I can't believe what I see,how you react? It's just so impossible~~Since you've chosen this path,I shall not treat you like how I should anymore..You simply don't deserve it..You are the only one I believe yet you betrayed it..It's a secret within me and as for you,you will never notice your change..I've though that you were my friend for life but now I'm considering? You said thing that I'll never say..You do thing that I never thought you will~~Both of us are pursuing different thing so maybe soon our only choice left is separate way..I'm walking a path alone,it might be dark but I'm not afraid as I know my guardian angel will always be by me..

Guardian angel make my wish come true,just one look,just one chance..And maybe I'll have a happier lifestyle.Every single day I repeat the routine in asking myself what's wrong..Maybe it's not me,it's you..I just came to know the truth that lies within you..And my story ends with no result but a few footprints..You're the one and she's the one..byebye then,cya and tak care.XOXO!

2009-07-03T10:04:00.003+08:00

DISTANCE=SPEED x TIME!

Good morning everyone! I'm now doing my e-learning however I've few minutes to spare thus I'm here to post again..(: Yesterday when I was about to sleep,my mind came across a theory and so I'll tell you about it..My theory is about the title I posted today-D=SxT..I've finally succeed in analysing what is distance between people..It really do take time and as for the speed it's to depend how fast you two have distance apart..Hhahas,it's real isn't it...It all take time to happen and it's all about how fast it is..Your speed is faster than I thought and it'll last forever.

I can now move on without my past dragging me..It's so tiring to be dragging behind with your past..Misery will end one day and as for mine it had ended yesterday night..Yet another lesson I learnt and now I'm in search for the next one..I'll be waiting..In life,you gotta analyse everything someone said as it's never true,sometimes it's because there's a reason behind it and sometimes they are just out to harm you..After seeing everything and knowing nothing,I still decide to just stop searching for the truth,it will just make things more complicated..No use anymore..Your decision,I'll respect however now I decide and you respect mine ..!!

Laugh if you want cause no one is gonna care..If you hate that scene just walk away...Why?Tell me?Maybe I dun wanna hear anymore..I dun wanna see anymore,I dun wanna know anymore..Goodbye then...It's truely okay with me,I'm really fine(:(: Thanks for reading my theory,it just a view of mine..You will have yours too~

2009-07-01T20:32:00.002+08:00

REFRESH AND NEW!

If you have wonder how's my day today,let me tell you it was a great day..I am satisfied with my work progress today~Rather fast..Also,I had been joking with them and just kept laughing about silly things..Oh ya,my uniform was spilled with soft drink!! hahahas(: It was an accident,I think it was because we are too clumsy...Thanks to yuping character of being straight-forward which make us laugh like a freak!..She was a real joker without knowing it herself~~
I had also decided what to eat for my lunch tomorrow,it'll subway cookies(:...Totally got nothing to post without my theory..Should a post be short and simple or should it really express and describe your daily life??

Decided that if I'll never going to stop and look back,I will fulfil my dream/goal so just keep moving on..GoshGosh! why am I the last to know? I'm totally so not gonna ask for it anymore~Lastly,we have been living in our own tiny little group..No matter how far you've left or how long it had been,you will always go back to where you belong...I will not be the one to repeat this thus I will be the one to break the chain...Avoiding/hiding is not the best choice either...Maybe facing and analysing it would be a wiser move(: Be a heartless person than soft-hearted? Who know when you're falling apart,it might just be the next second..Beware and pay attention to your surrounding..Laugh along,byebye(:
I'm stronger with your laughter around..Therefore,friends are my music and vice verse!

I'm like a shadow,just spreading my beautiful wing.You're like the path,leading wherever I want to go..You never know I am the one protecting you from the rain,sun and storm..Just tell me when you need me*(Dedicated to frens who have always been by their friends back,supporting them w/o they knowing..Despite it's a tough job~
TIME WILL PROVE,I'll DO WHAT I THINK IS RIGHT,I DON'T CARE MORE(:

2009-06-30T20:25:00.002+08:00

I WAS JUST TOO...

Well well,today I will not bored you all with my theory first..Therefore,let's talk about my second day in school(:..Firstly,today lesson start at 9am which mean that we got to relax for about 2 hours before learning anything new! Secondly,I got a new math teacher,although she is better than the previous one,I still don't think she is good enough to be our o-level teacher..However,I believe if a student want to learn,no matter who the teacher is,the student is able to learn~Thirdly,RECESS time and luckily I didn't order anything to eat from the set cause they waited so long for it..hahaha,as for me,I was having my subway cookies while they are waiting for it:P At least I will not die from starvation cause people are likely to die from thirst than starvation! Lastly,I was just wondering if I really do appear to be laughing every time? Maybe I don't notice but I think it's so crazy to be laughing or smiling every time..This came across my mind as today when I saw the VP of my sch,he said that I'm always smiling and same goes to everyone who just know me...Hahhas,I think that if I didn't laugh/smile for a second,they would think that I'm crazy rather than me smiling all day(: I think it's a good news,not a bad one!! Laughing help to distress,do you know..

Bad news again...Have you ever try so hard yet you're still in the same position..I did and it's totally exhausting~~! I have tried a few ways,some easy one and some real difficult one..And from there I learnt new skill which is to endure! I just wanted a connection,a link,a clue,an answer..I live my life not to find nothing but the truth..I can't possibly live with so many unsolved problems out there..Maybe that's my purposes in life...Without it,I have no peace..
I don't believe that there's nothing which I can't solve...I'll be there,just be there where the truth lies..

In search for the truth,I found something unexpected but it's not the ending I wanted so far...
With my theory,I end here..Will definitely post again..But I can no longer express my real feeling here..As it's not safe..There's trap everywhere,gotta be more careful..I can no longer different-shape the game,the truth,the real person and also the true answer to myself,the reason for me to continue..byebye(:

2009-06-28T18:10:00.002+08:00

THE ONLY CHOICE!

This time,I'm taking a real long journey,however I realised that it might be better to just wait and see..Sitting on the side rather than playing along with the 'play'..Life is like a storybook,you either have a good content or you've a total disaster ...Living something differently? It's a brand new feeling and I could feel that I'm more mature in making decision..I'm not like the old me,who always speak without even thinking if I could hurt someone feelings..But at least I learnt and I proved to myself that I'm capable in doing anything and everything! Maybe sometimes,good things take time,they don't come when you want,and leave when you don't..They want to see YOU putting in some hard work before anything happen...It's not bad to let you have the time to consider if you really need the good stuff..Sometimes,you just ended up not wanting it..They are just like pets,you love them ,they love you back..However the only different is,when you have really get the good stuff you initially wanted,you simply neglected it and BANG into the garage..Sad indeed, so be a little more mature in the things you are pursuing..Don't fight a battle with no confidence..

One word left-stop/aside/wait..Okay,I know that sounded like three words but use it separately and it'll be just one word...There's some kind of sadness but some kind of peace in me..Maybe I have never really express how I feel,but it's never a bad point(: Of course,wadever I do,I told myself that I meant nothing bad...hahahs! BULLSHIT...Sometimes,things changes and you just gotta say how you think/feel about it...Do you believe that there is an end to everything?I use to but now,no~"As tough times don't last and failure happen only when you give up."Good yet common phrase? But it has never occur in my brain and when my fren suddenly told me about it,it change my views...I was about to give up and just let it be but now no.

My battles have not end although I've lost one,I'm still moving on..I just needed time to heal my previous battle and in no time you will see me back with a better troops(: However,I need to stop for now at least..I can finally control and cope with it..Music are my life,it accompany me through boredom,sadness,happiness,any thing at any time.

2009-06-24T20:23:00.006+08:00

NOBODY!

Who am I to judge the situation,in their heart,I'm just a nobody...Yes,I definitely feel sad and now I dun feel like caring for anything..You all always act so differently!! In front of me,you all taught me to forgive and forget,to tolerate everything..However,you all just don't do the same like what you all taught...
I'm so tired of living under their masks..If faking and acting is better than being yourself,tell me,what are you living for?! I didn't ask for lots,just maybe trying to voice out how I feel...Right now,till this moment..I felt peace as I didn't follow behind your back...If I did,I would just be like you all! Although,sometimes I am bad,at least I felt guilty for it...You all just thought that it's them, who are in the fault..When grandmother is sick,did you all really care about her? Maybe?I didn't care much too but after I knew she was diagnosed with depression,I spent more time at home rather than going out..You all kept going out,you all might said that it's because of the blogshop but HEY,what use with having money but no one to share with? You all said that I did a little,but did you all think about it..It's my final year and there's much more meaningful things than this....I didn't put in my heart and soul but at least I did care...Now onwards,for them I got nothing better to say..I'm just too tired of their cycle..

In life you can't wish for the things that are not meant for you,however you can work hard to make it happen..REMEMBER effort do pay off,but only if you did 100% of it..99% dun count...You gotta put in your heart and soul...In my life,I don't wish more,just that the people I loved do love me back..Family,Friends...They are the ones that I can't afford to lose!.....And my life journey will continue.

Grandma I do misses the time with you that maybe I had long forgotten but right now every one of it is so vivid..I don't want you to forget me one day,there's gonna be a cure-trust me I will make the miracle happen***
Offer me a slower pace of life and I'll be grateful(: Treasure everything,I dun wanna regret once more thus believe me,I'll make the right choice..!

2009-06-19T20:37:00.002+08:00

TEARS ARE MY LESSON!

Firstly,I should really praise myself for studying hard for this whole week!! Cause at least I did what I had promised myself...I found out that,studying could be a fun thing too~However,I dunno why the people around seem to be troubled? Are they or I've just misjudge the situation?
I really dunno,I can't really help and I can't promise to be by their side..Thus,I'll leave them to rest and think about it,weigh the good and bad before giving any conclusion...I believe they will be just fine!

For me,I've a wonderful life although I fell a couple of times,I am still standing,looking back the path I had walked...And for that I felt rather contented!!(: No one gonna tell me what to do,wad's right or wrong,who's good or bad? So I gotta search for the truth myself..They of course can tag along but in our own life,we decide and they support us...You must be the one to open and find the true of the truth!! With that mind-set,nothing can knock me down...Maybe there is,but it will only be me-myself...hahahahs..However,I decide to rather make friend with myself than be an enemy with myself....!!...You might be lying but I took everything to be real,you might not be playing and now I see...It's all about how we view a thing,how serious do we take it? It's all up to us....

Life for today,wasn't really good...Benefit do benefit me...But deep down you know everything so clear and simply...The answer had long been laid there,I just didn't care to flip it open and take a look in it....However, now I did,and I found out how could I blind-fold myself for so long..I didn't want to admit the facts at first..But as time passes by, you know you have to!! Lastly,I was quite pissed off just now,been scolded for nothing...I didn't say anything,doesn't mean I admit it's my fault....You've been crazy and wrong,wake up.will you?? Why,when grandfather died,their world seem to fade away too?? It's just not worth it...I can't say anything,just don't be..It's not my choice they changed,it's theirs...I have an option,it is not that I have no choice so I will bear with it...I want to be better,even better than now,better than who I am!!I believe the superman is myself when I succeed in everything,I'll be my own super hero!!(: With that I leave my name proudly-ELIS!

2009-06-15T15:23:00.002+08:00

I'M HAPPY THAT MY FRENS ARE HERE!
Can time really prove everything? Nothing have ever been true? Gosh,this is a no answer question..Anyway,I proved myself right for that moment..As long as you try,there's gonna be another tomorrow.However,tell me who has the patient to keep trying..For me,I definitely can.Cause I know myself,I know my limit..Sometimes,people said they can,but halfway through,they fell/failed a dozen time and this made them stop and run away,maybe?They just won't continue...Theory over and over again,but it's real..Think about it,everything happen because of something and everything has a consequences to it.No one know wad's the ending but we can predict,right?Sometimes,I wonder do I really mean wad I say? Have I ever consider their feelings too? If I am bad,tell me all about it..Cause I can't possibly know all my bad points,I just need the truth,I need you to tell me!

I should stop my theory here and tell you all, something fun?!Yesterday was my family outing and I totally enjoyed myself,it's been some time since the last outing^^ I really missed it..Anyway,I'm glad to hear that this Sunday,there will still be an outing!! I'm so excited(: As for this Saturday,I'm out to wild wild wet and escape theme park....Thus I concluded that it's going to be a tiring day!!~~ However,the memorise will stay thus no matter how tired I am,it's worth it...That's why it's call the family day!--Father And Mother I Love You..

I'm there-simply thinking about it over and over again till I find the key to my heart and reveal the truth I've been waiting for~Take care and byebye(: Remember life is like flying a kite.....

2009-06-12T19:23:00.003+08:00

THE THEORY IN MY LIFE....

Possibly like what my friend had told me,I'm pathetic??...Know why,I really couldn't promise to what I say I'll do..The determination just seem to fade away when I see you....It's weird cause I'm ELIS?!! However,I believe that after trying a few times,I will/can do it~~
Today I went to watch the ghost of past GF...It's quite nice and very meaningful(: I could remember a theory the guy mentioned..-You never give up in love as regret hurt more..It's a miracle and you dun wish to live your life with regrets,right?That was like super true,don't you think so?...If you love that person and you chose not to say about it,you'll never get the chance to know if he feels the same way towards you..Even if he rejected you,at least you know that you try and you'll move on with your life with a answer and no regrets!!!hahahas(; I dunno why did I said that too,kinda bored to read my post??Okay,I bored about writing too!

I'll do the right thing at the right time,dun I'll never give up..I hope you understand my reason as I dun wanna waste my life with regrets...I believe in trying even if it's a dead end...I make the impossible possible,I just believe and my faith will bring me to a higher level^^

2009-06-10T14:47:00.002+08:00

IS THIS THE FACTS,THIS IS WHAT I GET!
Must a person life be living in a cycle? Repeating the same things over and over again?Gosh,you know it's either peacefully or the worst nightmare...If you have a pleasant tomorrow,it's a good news..But if you have a terrible tomorrow,it's a bad news....This cycle is bad when you are having a bad day!Never mind,maybe it does not apply to all~~Or maybe it's just tiredness...It's your choice...

Prefect on the outer but poor inner?Or prefect inner but poor outer? Which is better...My dream are drifting away from me which I've always believed in..If it's really gone,what shld I do? Do i have a choice,no matter what, the current will blow it away? Sometimes,I can figure out what I want but sometimes I just got stuck....I'm so frustrated about my actions! EVERYTHING needed two hands or human to be complete.If one is trying,the other is not=FAILED! Why should we try so hard when we know there's no returns,our mind-set are fixed thus there's certain thing that we can't think out of the box....However,we just needed some time....Give me more time,I'll and definitely pull those reality back into my life and the smile I've always carried!...

Granddad ,I'm missing the days,I'm missing you,I'm missing my life w/o you and I'm missing your words and lots more which are left unsaid and unanswered..I'll go to the end just to have a glance at you! I have dream that you came back but waking up to find that you're not there,I've sense your present but I can't see you,I've done everything I can but I still couldn't fulfil what I promised! Tell me,what's ahead of me,show me what I can do w/o you..I've stop my journey and I find no reason to continue......

2009-06-07T18:22:00.009+08:00

I WANT TO GET OUT OF THAT CYCLE!

I have started to realise that it's so clear and fake...Therefore,now,I got nothing I could say and definitely I dun wanna continue my life this way....I'm so sick of it~Just why didn't I realise it sooner?? Am,I dumb? gosh,it's just right in front me..I admit my emotions have let me to the wrong path,have covered my eyes and now when I stop that I see!! I have neglect the fact which has always been there...Maybe,it's just a valuable lesson to learn...Not blaming in fact thanks! Will I stop doing the same,it's not their fault but it's also not mine..Actually,I just gotta do it in another way...I will still get to the same place like others,just a little slower than them...I dun mind if it's the truth..At least I know I'll reach my destination either way!!(: Tears are the precious price we gave to learn...

2009-06-04T14:45:00.011+08:00

IT'S BEEN WONDERFUL FROM THE START!

Firstly,it's English mock test today so as per normal I woke up early in the morning at 6a.m..Okay,maybe a little late,you know, human beings tends to be a little lazy while getting up after having a 5-6 hours of sleep!! Never mind...Continue...~Listening to the same music again and again,I really going to update my songs and know what,I'm going to dig my drawer to find my MP4 and store all my songs in it rather than in my phone CAUSE it makes my phone super lag!! That's what my frens been telling me~ Well,I'm not really sure if transferring of songs will help;/...
Oh ya,I'm currently reading a book name:"Miley Cyrus-Miles To Go",it's not my book,I borrowed it from a frens...As you know,she just ROCK and this book is worth buying and reading!! It talks about her life and a lot of encouragements(:
There's is also phrases worth thinking and really reflect on your real life..She might be a celebrity but she was once a kid just like us!...A chance and believe turns/makes her different~So the most important thing in life is to HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF....

Today TVM's quotes were quite meaningful but due my my brain capacity can't store that much!!! But I could still remember a couple of it...1)--You're not afraid of the things you know..2)--Life is actually curiosity...

Lastly,I wanna tell all of you what I've been thinking all this time! You might not be excited but I'm totally thrill about it...A little crazy must come at the right time(: Do you ever have the feeling of your dreams coming true? It's like I had this plan in my brain,nobody know it(maybe except god) but somehow everything just slowly fall into places,like how you wish it to be! Okay,it might be a coincident but it also might be true-A miracle?...I have never think my life will be complete or happy but actually I just realised I have been happy since I was born and I have everything I got,luckily I'm not too late to realise it!!...If my dreams dun come true,I'll make it true..If my heart and mind are not singing the same song,I'll find another song...If really there's no way out for me,I believe someone will save me...It's always with us,why didn't we notice it...Be optimistic!~~I'm clear with my decision,it's a win-win one...I'm not stupid nor am I dumb anymore...It's time to change for a better one and STAY~(:

PS:Be a new person and set free.Don't feel like you're looking through a broken glass at your broken future and shattered past..Because it's time for you to shine and change the world...You're the one that brings the light,don't throw it all away(:

XO,take care and bye bye...May your surrounding ppl stay happy 4ever!

2009-05-31T09:44:00.003+08:00

Okay everyone today NO MORE MY THEORY!
Today,let's talking about my life and of course my feelings(:
To me,I think I'm half happy and ha;f stress,but still I love the happy part more..Therefore,I'm going to be happy! Okay,Just one word HAPPY!~~I'm glad that I spend my days wisely and of course everyday I learn more things from people around me..They shared their experiences with me and I really thanks them for that..Or where do I get all those theory and sometimes CRAP!
However,I hope maybe,someone have learn something from all those short little phrases,I'll still be updating more if I got...Remember it's a lesson everyday(:

Things I gotta do now is GO TUITION!
As for my future,I gotta work harder as I only passed 3 subjects and failed 3~Pathetic! Chinese o-lvl,I need,i must get A1(: Thus,I end here with a peace in my mind and the greatest feeling I felt that time...BYEBYE!

2009-05-28T19:05:00.006+08:00

A NEW LESSON!
Heard from someone that "what you get,you'll not get..However,what you dun want,you'll have" I dun know if it's true but after analyzing it,I found out the reason/meaning of this phrase..In my theory,I think that when you want that thing,you do act and you're keep thinking of how to get what you want! But when you dun want that thing,you'll be yourself,more natural and will not act at all~If you treat it normal like how you use to and know what ,people love you being yourself!!! So maybe next time if you want that thing,tell yourself you dun want it? hahahahhhas(: By the way,it's not always that way...The world follow the rules but maybe in 100%,there's 1% who are the exception...Do you knw wad I mean? Nvm,shall elaborate....
The rules is that when a guy dun return your call or ask you out for the second time,he is totally not interested in you...The exception is,the 1% will ask you out after 1 years pass or wadever....Maybye you'll think that you might be the exception,oh maybe every girls think that way....BUT it's never this way,think the rules first,it'll hurt less!!

After all,it's not worth wasting your time if he is not the right one...Leave the best for the right one and stop wasting for the wrong one! Although,you will say who is right one/wrong one? But you can feel it,it depends on how you choose and what you want...He might be a pieces of shit towards others but to you he's a pieces of gem!! You decide and no one change...

After this few days,I think i got the pic or maybe not..But at least I'm better at judging(: I'll do my best...
Everyone are given the same equal chance,it depend on if you have full use it? If you didn't you'll lose that very precious chance and there would not be any second chance...Another word treasure it,dun wait..It's stupid to wait when you can go for it...There's always a tomorrow for waiting but there's no seconds for doing it now! Waste no time(: That's a phrase from my fren~

2009-05-15T18:53:00.003+08:00

UPDATE YOURSELF~
Shall not nag about that virus again but here to tell you all that it had spread to Malaysia..The first case of H1N1 had appeared in KL..So be more caution while you're there(:

My LIFE.
Been watching vcd today and finally finished it(;..My life has been brighten up and it'll continue! Maybe once I think everything is a lie but ,like what I use to say-Look into the picture before having a decision..Therefore,I'm really looking and figuring out now~Everything will be fine,challenges are fun..Just a word,just a phrase may change everything...I'll never give up! I will try till the end,as you'll never know if you never try(;...I believe it's worth it after all so BET on it~ Gotta take a risk once in a while so JUST DO IT!!...
IT JUST GOT MIXED UP!
I don't understand why do they think that way,anyway I shall not care..I only live to see my smile and not others..Say that I'm selfish but don't you wanna be happy for your own life? Would you rather be a copycat,a follower?..You may like it, but I don't...I shall not drag anyone down anymore...I'm so tired of saying the same things/phrase over again...It's bored and it'll kill! It's never that way nor it'll be in future...Sometimes,what they say may be right..Just let it go,it might be good for everyone..A favour or just a stupid dumb choice? Nobody gonna know...Somehow there's always this phrase-The best is always not with yourself,it's always meant for others...It's true cause you're always trying to make people happy but why didn't you think about yourself..We do wish the best stay with you and let the worst be shared by us(: Happy endings really don't exist in real life,do they?..But do human beings really want to be live in a fairy tales?

2009-05-14T19:18:00.002+08:00

VIRUS spreading.
Although now the alert is down,the virus are still spreading..It had already spread to china and Thailand..It's just a matter of time when the virus will hit us..Therefore,we should still be concern about it..The slower it attack our country the better it is..It'll give them expert more time to find a cure for it..
However,many people went aboard as the air tickets are cheaper(to Europe)..Some even carry the attitude that at least they went before so they will not regret even if they got the virus..But did they think in another view? It's not just about them,it also concern our safety and health..A second thought about the decision you all make..It might change everything,your life,your family,your frens...This is more serious than SARS,it could spread faster and now there's no cure even though the tamiflu may be useful but they are afraid that it might mutate to something more terrible...Thus medicine has been really carried out..As a citizen,you should think for all of us and not just you..It'll end but the point is when? Or maybe after killing thousand,billions?...Also,the news had said that within this year,this virus could infected about 2 billion of people..Okay,shall stop talking about this...Just came to my mind about the seriousness of this virus...Seem so harmless yet it's gonna kill...We never know who might be the next victim......

Problems.
Have been staying at home all day and I found out something-the reason why they over-reacted? Maybe they are afraid they will lost their mum.Everyone are afraid of losing their loves one,and only now I don't blame them for being so short-temper.I have been going out last few days and I didn't spare a thought for them..But I'll now!..Once use to say dun regret since I still got the chance,I shall grab it tight...Actually my problems are not problems,they are just challenges..I believe nothing can bring you down,you gotta do your best and never regret(;...
Oh ya,saying about this just make me think of a choice,a choice my Friend had made...I dunno if it's a right one or a wrong one but I believe and hope that he/she will not regret..No one can help a person decide so final decision is still in their hands..Letting go or clinging on it,got both advantage and disadvantage..After all,it's how you see things...Different views can't blame~
You're born with your own character,a fact that can't change..Either you love it or hate it but let me tell you,that's what make you you! Without it,you're nothing but a copycat(follow what others do)? Find your true self and be that..People will love you,don't you worry(;
That's all,the first post is the most IMPORTANT ONE!
Byebye everyone and remember take care and stay healthy~~Loves..

2009-05-08T19:11:00.006+08:00

Oh ya,blog is kinda dead..Shall upload some photos..
I shall pick the best pics as there's lots to go!
Fifthteen pics!Hope you love it~

SAY CHEESE!

The hearty(:

The best pic we took.
Just laugh~

Pull?

Dearest wife(:

WaWa!!

Tongue out:P

LOVE!Fighting for the cam?!

Kelly toh HANDS!

Ouch!

Smarty~

2009-05-08T17:52:00.007+08:00

STOP IT!

What bad friend,what rubbish is that..I seriously have nothing to say since you said all that..Let me tell you...Do you know why I always posted post about the frens thing because I simply HATED what you've wrote...All the post after we had a quarrel..I didn't say that I'm sad or angry or wadever because of you (saying all that fren thing),it's simply because YOU'RE reacting the same way again and again..I'm so sick of it...At first,I didn't want to say it as I dun want this to happen,like NOW! But after all those thinking,I think it's the time that I gotta tell you all this..Every time you posted posts,you say you're not getting pity from others but do you know what,that's not what others think..They just pity you and I will always be blame for what I dun even know what I did!

I'm a person which dun care about finding true frens,I just simply think that fren are fren..If you are there then just laugh,play and sometimes share a little secret..I shall said,true frens and frens are the same..Stephanie,I'll apologise if I offended you by saying all this as I dunno how you feel,I am not YOU.However,I'm just saying from my point of view...THEREFORE,you dun need to take it seriously as everyone got its own view..And most importantly,dun take my words like it's the fact..Cause it might not be...I'm saying this in a cool mode..I have seen the whole picture of how I feel so I could tell you what I see about all this..But don't you think somehow it's too over-reacting..It's like we're crazy about all this but I dun wan to stuck in this muddy,draggy situation..I might be getting out but after all,you're still a fren of mine..Believe it or not..
But we can never be like how we used to...I've proved that for months,it's not your fault neither it's mine..It's just changing and everything is changing,you can't expect ppl to stay in their own old life...

I love to take risk and today I shall take it...You and I are simply frens and I really think you should not rely on someone as the person will be afraid and tired..You gotta open up to more ppl..Without this the world is not going to end but if you don't leave your comfort zone,your OWN world will collapse..

People might think we're lame, stupid..But it's their view..People might think you or I are the BAD guy but I have long don't care about it...Who's the bad or who's the good person,doesn't matter anymore..What really matter is whether YOU/ME are happy anot...Why live our life in misery when you can live to the happiest/fullest! Not worth it,I dun want to fight,I dun want to give up any frenship..I want a normal relaxing frenship~ Stephanie,I hope you don't get the wrong idea as now you're somehow getting the wrong idea about what I'm trying to say.I have never blame you for not caring about my problems which I'm facing,it's all in your mind so clear it all up..That's all for today..
Sorry for the long post and I am saying sorry as politeness..
I meant NO QUARREL so just let it fade away slowly..

MY PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING!
Daddy are kinda short-temper and as for my grandmother,she is terribly sick..
I shall pray for her health,hoping that she'll get better and waking up everyday feeling more refreshed...I have lost one of them so I dun want it to repeat it over again..No regrets this time..

2009-05-06T16:14:00.003+08:00

YOU HAVE FORCE ME TO THE EXTREME!

How I wish I could be more straight forward but just doesn't want to destroy all this.
Gosh~I'm so damn with this feeling!Telling you,trying my best but result SAME!
So why should I care,right? No initiative from you so why me..I use to in the past but not now.
Anyway,I have this final decision..

Rather to be a DEVIL than an ANGEL,freaking out!

You are always leaving,wad else you want..I had really given you what I could,what do you really want..I really dunno,have no idea!! Just let go,you're free and SO DO I!
How I wish you could see this picture clearly.

Lastly,thanks for being there(like you always said) but did we really?..Think,no...I didn't change so dun give me a second chance...I dun even know if you are you when I'm with you...You are like a person with 2 personalities...

Anger,Misery,Dying,Forget It!

2009-04-30T23:00:00.002+08:00

PEOPLE PEOPLE OUT THERE!

I been living in misery this few days~Can't express how I feel when you are just there..Life is like living under a mask which is totally not COOL!
But guess wad,I dun wanna live like this and so I'm moving on..I dun wish to even think about it..Anyway,it is just s something right? No big deal!
hahhahas...
Don't want.
Don't ask.
Lastly,I dun care(;

Learning and just keep learning..Didn't mean it sometimes~Accidentally,you knw?A game is suitable for everyone but real one dun play...You're happy not because of him/thing..You're happy for what make up him/thing..
Think about it,the link,see it? Regret is nothing much,just dun have it the second time..Life is not wonderful but living it is totally miracle(;
I dun need anyone to live and I'm definitely NOT a NEEDY~Girls/boys out there
never be a needy cause no one wan a needy..Have a (your) life instead of living others one..

Cheer up frens,nth more importantly than you~Bad times is going away and so just stop thinking and enjoy the good times which is coming..Slow your pace and see what you've been missing out..We're there,look into it,will ya?
Frens are forever but love for someone is not eternity..As every love is just around the corners..Sometimes,one love end may not be end ,it might be a start of something new..Never estimate what things you might find..You'll never know.I learnt lots,how about you? Maybe it's time for you to do the right choice at the right time..Never live in the past and also never buried yourself with the old you..Tear off that OLD skin and start a new one..You never success w/o falling time after times..Believe the key!

2009-04-24T23:08:00.002+08:00

I dunno!
I wonder why I said that...
I can't stand this misery,NO more!
Didn't you know,i feel sad,didn't you know,I tried so hard..
I shld have never try to change anything,in the end I simply changed myself..
Everyone think I'm bad then let it be,think that I changed,let it be!
After all,i live my life..
I can be a loner,I can be independent,I CAN and I BELIEVE!
No ones there when I needed support,I am not the type that say how I feel..
You think it's crazy,I feel the opposite and often do the opposite..
No surprise that YES I am the bad guy! I am going to say SOO WHAT!
I am tired and sick...I tried millions of times and that's wad I get?
You doubted me,I feel it...After years,that's the trust...FORGET IT...
Better off to let me live myself and die? I hated myself,I am being too stupid..
And today,i finally could let out what I have been holding back for so long and stupid me I '''' which I hardly did ! It just came flowing down w/o even me noticing it..I found out that I had really try and try it damn hard..Or I wouldn't have take it so seriously!~

2009-04-05T21:07:00.003+08:00

OKAY fine!
Hellish day---CLEAR and SIMPLE~
Yes=Yes
No=No!
Easy right then get it right...
Hated,bored,my decision,my life and my point of view.

Shutting down everything..I'm back..ELIS is back(:
Finally,I made the biggest step which I had always wanted to.
Elis is bad,is crazy,is on the edge and she is getting everyone/everything out of her sight! I just want peace,no words,no complains,no cheating and no MORE!

I'm fine,and totally am perfectly FINE!
Oh ya,I will not be posting for a long....time....
CLOSED FOR THE TIME BEING!
Shall be back in OCT,meanwhile take care everyone and smile till the end of the world and live to the damn fullest!

2009-03-27T22:06:00.007+08:00

Dearest[;Loves,kelly

Lovely Melissa!

Loves,daughter(;

Loves my Gfriend.

Beloved DAD!

THE mum~

DAD~

4s!Brother(:

Juney~

Melx~

UPDATE-DAYS!

Erm,long time since I updated! So there will be quite a lot of photos and not words..I'll be dead and my hand will be aching if I post wad happened this few days so i shall only highlight some points to you all~ And also my little brother had been calling me to updated,shall now talk about it!SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK!--Was not really busy but tired of blogging this few days..Oh,the system was not bad,I'm slowly getting use to it so after all no big deal!~Actually I had forgot wad really happened the past few days so I think let's skip,or I'll be crapping through...I think just talk about today......Went to watch movie after sch,coincidentally I found out that both my sis were watching that show too(same time and same movie)..Therefore,asked them to help me buy the tickets first as they got there first~Soon kelly,melissa,huiqi,june,jieying,meixuan came but kelly and meixuan were nearly late but luckily they got here in time(; Nice timing wor~The movie was really nice,damn worth watching,I guarantee that you'll enjoy! I will rate 5/6 for this movie..But for guys,I'm not sure if they will like it...hahahhas! After that,we went walking for a while then left with my sis for dinner and walked home after that~ I had a good day but now my eyelids gonna close soon...YAWN!~~~~Sleeping time or maybe too early!But panda eyes sucks..

Gosh,there's still a lot of homework for me to do...blah blah blah~~~When can I finish everything?I think till I finish O-level ba...So good luck to you all and of course myself too~~I still haven got the chance to watch COMING SOON but shall watch it next week if possible..Kelly toh you are such a busy girl,when are we watching coming soon ? (: hahahahs..OK then ,showing of pictures is better than writing....PICTURES!

PS:"I was nearly killed by my forgetfulness today,I will really remember it and never forget..I am sorry."

2009-03-23T19:44:00.010+08:00

LAUGHTER WITH TIREDNESS!

Yesterday,I should have really post as there's damn lot of things I wanna tell you all but due to the tiredness I'm bearing..I fell asleep and the next moment,my alarm clock rang..hahahs(; So in the end,I didn't really post~Anyway,I'll post yesterday photo soon and thus I'll let my photo speak rather me telling the story everytime..I shall briefly describe what happened yesterday...Went to an event for elderly and children(I think) and we were some sort of volunteers...All we have to do was to play with the them and of course teaching them how to~I was in-charge of the skipping rope station thus I'm so tired..have been jumping with them..But with their laughter,everything is just worth it~Actually this event urge me to do more meaningful things,maybe I will,, in my 17th!...Yesterday,I concluded that helping others is the greatest gift to give and receive!It's something that money couldn't buy(;..Therefore,will you treasure the moment that you still have?~

Today!!!
A new day of school and everything seem to be normal EXCEPT the new time-table!! I was groaning when I first saw the stupid timing and also shock~It really do sucks much this time..
Imaging having to dismiss at 3PM everyday!! What about more freedom and time to do our own stuffs...This timing is just telling us that we'll have less freedom and less time for ourselves!! Indeed is a bad new,wad if we've extra lesson? Are we going home at 5pm everyday? Gosh,why didn't they think about the consequences...Although they thought that it's good by adding one period- the reading lesson, a good way for us(by reading more?)..Or maybe improving our English??..However,we really could do this at home or anywhere but why school...Somehow,I think we're just wasting our time....How I wished that our dismissal time will be like the past 2.30pm(;..Just 30min but it do make a different!!Okay,fine,shall not complain as doing this make ppl OLD(A auntie told us during the event-the secret for staying young?)hahahahs!There's more to know and learn~~After school,went lunch with 'sisters'...And we joke and laugh along...Fun yet getting bored with what we're doing everyday...Should find new stuff and joke to play with...Create new excitement and adventures for your everyday life...DO IT and make the only difference!

2009-03-20T22:47:00.012+08:00

I AM SO FULL!

I was so full today,seem like I been stuffing food into my mouth...Lols! I feel like vomiting(; hahahas...Anyway,I had finally finish most of my works and what left is those that I dunno how to do! After attempting a few times,I still couldn't balance it thus i'm going to ask the teacher when sch reopen~Meanwhile just let me REST..There are barrage of questions in my dam it brain!!How am I gonna solve it all at once~If i do,I'll be crazy by the time I finish...Fine fine fine!
Shall think of a way soon...Oh ya,let me tell you what i had ate which causes me to feel so bloated now...Breakfast had,Fish soup and you know I got the nebo voucher so went nebo to order some drink + Ice-creams...As you can see from the photos so shall not mention much..After that had popcorn while watching (hotel for dogs) movie..Then,I had porridge for dinner...Lastly,I just had pizza and ice-cream again..erm for my supper,I think!!! Oh gosh,thinking back what my stomach had contained I feel like puking;/ hahhaha,shall go exercise before I sleep...TO DIGEST!!

Hotel for dogs was a touching show..See what kids could do without adults help! Oh ya,today,everything was in a rush...SORRY not to plan it properly! Shall watch it next time(; Coming soon awaiting...hahahs,but actually I'm kinda scare to watch it~Have a bad feeling..hheheh..But I'll be dare-devil for just once..No big deal watching..If there's just a nightmare..I hope?!~Their noisy banter always cheer me up(;

LovesLoves~
Twins?(Same colour too)!
Treasure Island~

Rocky blah blah..Forgot!

2009-03-19T20:06:00.015+08:00

JUST A BAD DAY!

Went studying as usual and today was totally not my DAY!! First,can't find my chemistry worksheet which I had completed~~Then,came the second disaster,I couldn't find my earpieces!!At that moment I was about to explode...But luckily I didn't,actually it's near to impossible..I wouldn't want my brain to fly out and smack on the walls....-.-!! Did you hear before,one disaster after the other...I really believe it..The third one was,I reached the bus-stop and by looking at my watch,I knew I'm going to be late so I was kinda worried! Instead of having some peace at last,the bus was packed with ppl and the bus driver wouldn't let me in...In the end,I had to wait for the other bus~~Pissed off///

But after the three damn disaster,everything was fine...Had chem tutorial and then went for my lunch(Lemon chicken rice)~It's delicious at first but after eating a few mouth,I started to feel that it really doesn't taste nice at all..It's all because of the heat that make it nice(;..Went buying a new water bottle,so do steph and melx(Pink,blue,black)!! After buying all the things we needed,went steph house to study~Studied for about 2-3 hours,started to take photoss!Okay,not my idea..But I was the one designing the styles and poses!I had real fun doing that... Next time,take a photo,must be creative!! It makes things interesting even from different angles..Trying out new stuffs have no harm..DO,DO IT!Give me a few family moments,I needed it...Watching coming soon soon...LALLALALS!!~

Taken by:Stephanie!

What a spider'man'~
Melx(;

2009-03-18T22:09:00.005+08:00

Receiving!

I can't assimilate all these facts at once...Okay,I'm kinda confuse and for me nth seem to work out..I was wondering if it is the fact or just a cover page of the story?Never mind,life still goes on and maybe one day I will realise the truth within it...Thus,I shall adapt to it and endure with it too! I hope things will turn out to be good(; It is best to be yourself,no matter who are you with..

I mentioned that today I was going for tuition right..And there's a small little surprise for the teacher as planned by the other students~She was quite shocked as the light just went off and then there's a cake which was taken in by one girl...I think she was quite touch too!! Hhahas,anyway,I shall upload the photo tmr and just look at her expression!!(;

I'm in a state of shock,confuse and trouble but I'm not gonna bring all this to my tmr!~I'll smile for the next new tomorrow..Shall lives forever..~

2009-03-17T20:46:00.007+08:00

THE OTHER SIDE!

Firstly,pardon me for wad I'm gonna write,it's gonna be harsh but still I really wanna say it out loud,can't bear with it anymore!~~~Can you possible look behind the door and see wad's really happening?It's impossible and I know but try to understand,will you? Sometimes,we might be worried,we might be sad,we might be angry but never will we hack care if you have troubles..
No matter wad,you could also tell us or explain wad's going wrong with you..But why didn't you.
In the end,you think we are bad,hacking care of everything..But it's not like this! Wad could I really do to help you?It's impossible for me to know and I have never been a good listener,I knew it and you knew it too..But if you really need a pair of ears,I could still lend it to you...Listen clear,deep inside even if we know you are angry/sad/stress,we do not knw which is the best way to help you thus we could only sat quietly or do our own things as we really do not know how we could help you...Maybe we thought letting you cool off alone,is the best way? As everyone have different way of cooling down,some needed to be alone,some needed companion,so which do you needed most? Sometimes,I went but you hated..Then there were times I walked away or let you cool on yourself,you were disappointed in me doing so...So kindly tell me wad you need...Slowly,your trouble has became mine and it's really hard to guess...It's not a guessing game,if it is..I will give up playing this game....Give me a specific answer next time~I'm sorry for maybe, my wrong choice and I do not know wad else I could still do...Will it be the end of the journey?Will there be a dead end just round the corners? Will there still be light and path for us to continue? I still believe there is, but some voice in my heart had make this decision shake....I'm only left with the silent tears...Anyway,just look on the bright side and see things in a different way...REMEMBER,a game is not suitable for me(;

Done with the first one so let talk about our group studying today..Only kelly,huiqi,melissa,meixuan,waner and of course me went studying..It's not bored as they got lots of stories/jokes to tell..hahahas..Before this was math tutorial and it's so short..Just teaching about the triangles thingy,not much though,had learnt abit in sec 3...Then went for our lunch..Late in the evening,went to hougang green to have our dinner(LJS)~~Then we headed to a playground near melissa home and started playing while waiting for her!~It's was fun,I totally loved the flying fox(mini,just for kids)..hehhe,then we three 'kids' went playing like a crazy freaks,in the end,we went home with sweaty shirt ;P...That's all for today,just a short day anyway!! Maybe tmr will be a more exciting day...Tuition again/;
Anyway took some photo,oh ya,HUIQI could be a hairstylist when she grow up..She's real good!!

That's lame but fun~

The four of us!
Cute fishball beside me!
Waner~

Meixuan!

My hairstyle was done by huiqi.

Melissa(;

She's indeed like a baby!!!

2009-03-13T21:02:00.007+08:00

MY WORDS TO YOU!

First,lets start from today--Today was quite fun and also bored,okay kinda contradict but really~Went humanity club workshop(by outsiders),it's about communication..They taught us two words which is PLAD and HUG,meaning=P:perception/misjudge a person..L:Lack of active listening skills..A:attitude..D:different cultures or background..This is all the barriers to communication....And how we should communicates,by H:Hearing(different form listening,you must be interested in wad the person is saying)..U:Understanding..G:Giving feedback(ideas)~Okay,shall not say a lot about this workshop,it would be bored to talk about it all! Finally,my SS test is over~Luckily,I am able to remember the information and I just dumped everything in,somehow I think I'm crapping all the way through(;......Anyway,I got to rest on this Saturday..I'm finally going out with my frens,it's like I've been locked up in a cage for decades!hahahas,over-reacting!!..But truly really am exhilarated and I'm totally overjoy about tmr outing..Really,it have been a long time since I went out with zhenqi and steph(;

Oh ya,quoted some useful sentences....Below pictures will tell you what I wanna say~

"In my heart,I carry the last glances of the dying.I do all I can so that they feel loved at that most important moment when a seemingly useless existence can be redeemed."(Mother Teresa)

...any man can be a father,but it takes a special person to be called Dad.

A time for families to share together and not take each other for granted;take a moment and...share a hug.

A friend told me that see bad things in a different way,it really are meaningful and it did many goods to me..I have realise that it's time to be a better person..From now till forever~

Today are the 100th day of your death and I found out that we had already used to it but behind the scene,everyone is shedding their tears..When we're walking,we're thinking..When we're laughing,we're crying too..Secretly,no one gonna know..But I felt the same old feeling today,is that you or just my imagination?I dunno and I'll never know..Give me one more time;/

2009-03-12T20:19:00.003+08:00

Steph and me~

We're swinging,can't you see!

hahahahs(;

GOSH!

Had a long day today~Oh ya,changed my blogskin as my sis said the previous one is so dull! Lols,been changing my blogskin randomly and I think this is the most suitable one(; Anyway,it was a disaster today...Jyeling (primary sch fren)took our kindergarten photo to sch and showed it around;/..It was so embarrassing,how I wished there's a hole for me to hide~In the end,I was too tired to snatch from her so eventually I gave up! Hhahas,but I'm quite smart too,I threatening to bring our primary sch photo the next time if she keep showing others(; And finally,having PEACE at last..Thank god! And today,I believed that every problem will have a way to solve it,just think or do it! And now,it's time for me to do my SUMMARY which is due tmr!Stress is building up,can you see~~

2009-03-11T20:04:00.003+08:00

This is kelly toh!!

And not forgetting Huiqi~

Lastly,the water baby --Melissa(:

Studied!

After school,I was studying chemistry and math together with Kelly,huiqi and adam..And as for Melissa,she was laughing throughout the whole lesson(; LOLS,she can really be a entertainer next time?..hahahas! Anyway,been studying literally everyday,oh SS test is coming soon-just this Friday! Super duper fast,wonder if I got the time to study for it..At first,I think studying is bored but later I found out that it could be fun too~It totally depends how the way you study and who are you studying with;P It really does make a difference...LASTLY,I wanna tell you all about this new system in my school~Every morning we have one period of reading session(eating up our first period),at first I thought it's good but when I found out that we have to add one more lesson to our time-table..I nearly faint!! Means everyday dismissal time is 3pm!! Insane right?~We all needed rest!!LOLS,LOLS!Btw,pardon for the pic as it's not that clear;/ Byebye then,studying tmr and English summary due by this Friday~~

2009-03-10T19:34:00.011+08:00

Kissed on the nose!!
My 'mars' chocloate!
Whisper of kisses (;

The three crazy freaks~

Amanda and me! Lam huiqi and elis!

Me,jieying and panda!

Yet nothing is impossible!

Lols,Huiqi said w/o pictures, my blog is kinda dead therefore I posted few photos today!! Anyway,went lunch with them at Ave 8..Had,fried fish beehoon and they had noodles..

Oh,the weather are real hot !! Eating while perspiring!! Oh gosh,can you imagine how it feels like~I was damn hot thus we went 7-11 to buy drinks and also to cool ourselves down(; They bought drinks and I bought a 'mars' chocolate as you can see in the pic! Quite long since my last time having it..Nothing much happen today,as usual..Hahaha,been bored for long and impossible seem to be very near yet possible seem to be far away..Lols! What I'm talking about?!Losing someone close to you,makes you learn more then you could possibly think.Never underestimate yourself as the next miracles are just round the corners..

Sometimes things are just hidden behind,if you can,why not open it up and take a look..You might find something unexpected or maybe a surprise~Actually wad you see is not wad you get?! Maybe wad you think is all a misunderstanding..More than you know,that's wad I could say(; PEACE for life...Movies awaiting...Yippee...

2009-03-08T22:12:00.003+08:00

TUITION~
You know,every sat I have tuition for my English...And today tuition was still okay as for the home works,it's prefect(just a little)..Which means that I have more time to do my own things,FINALLY!(; It's been a long time since I went out with my frens!! I sure misses the fun and laughter la~I have missed most of their events and I really wish that in the future,I wouldn't be missing out anymore..But that's not something I could promise them,okay not even myself~The choice doesn't only depend on me,you knw? Anyway,I had enjoyed today,it could be the best day of this week...I learned and also laugh along with them...They are lovable to be with(; Sometimes,I wonder if they went missing in my life ,wad would I become..Actually,the day they came into my life,they slowly change my attitude and view towards my every day life~Without me realising it...Fren,when I found out that,I might be losing you soon..I felt sad and tried to grab you back but in the end,I found out that it would be better to let you have your own fun..And therefore,slowly,I went to find my own entertainments too~ That's maybe the reason for our distance..But,I could still feel that we're on the same line and we're still supporting each other when we fall,right? I really haven been able to treasure what I got,even if I was given a chance to lose it and have it back again..Somehow,I dunno why can't I learnt from it,instead,I consistently repeating it...I'm kinda disappointed the action and words I said...I had told myself almost a hundred or even a thousands time not to hurt you again but somehow I just DID! Some things I did,I just couldn't forgive myself and I have never thought that you'll really forgive me,even if you dun,I'll not blame you as it's not ur fault at all~Do you misses the time when we used to be that close and good? Do you remember the time we laugh without hiding anything? Do you found out that there's still something wrong with this friendship and you are getting more tiring?
And now,I could only say:'I do misses our old days,I do misses times we laugh without worries,I do sense that our friendship is on the edges of breaking down."I knew everything just that I dun wish to recall or even think abt it..I wan it to be like this forever and ever..At least now,we're still frens..I dun wanna see the day we break apart and lost contact like primary sch frens! New group of ppl may be good for us but also may be bad as,I tends to...hahahs,you knw,I knw!! ;P
ELIS is still ELIS..She knws that (she) will understand that's why she kept it a secret in here!!
I'm bored or lame,you could say..But something between fren,you'll not understand only till you find one true fren,you get the real meaning of frens...
TRUST?
I had never believed stuff abt best fren or true fren..As I think they are all the same,there's always a phrase in my brain and heart :'Frens are always using each other.' This few words have never leave my brain,only till she came and show me wad a fren would do or hw far a fren is willing to go for YOU! It's really stunned me,it's like so drama but it's all true! A true heart/frens heart will touch you in any ways,you might not say it out but you knew it deep down..But you're also afraid that it's only a period of time,therefore,you still keep that distance....And you know this cause the person to be sad as she thought that you dun appreciate or dun treat her as a frens(true)..Thus,quarrels gets in and this continues...When is it gonna end it'll be the day you accept everything,the good she gave and treat her right..But the last question is--Will she still believe you,despite the negative things/words you said to her? That make the frens,think twice before making the first big step and thus,this story goes on and never end...UNTIL,maybe the person decided that it is time to make the big step or else this friendship gonna end..In life,there are many choices but you could only make it right at the first time...If you're lucky,you get a second chance or maybe even a third one..But never gonna be the same like the first time......So chose wisely,as the truth and decision lies on your hand..Few distance to success,will you take this path with him/her or you would rather take this journey alone?
No inferring to anyone,no right or wrong..Just some feelings that we had went through....
At least we came to a higher level of life and thus,we could say it to others...I guess you might also be feeling the same way like I do....
Wad a long post today,my hand are aching NOW!! OUCH!...

2009-03-06T22:15:00.003+08:00

It went missing today!!
Something,some words cant be spoken..Hidden behind the wall which no one gonna knw..How long this will last? Is it really hard to show your true self to ppl? I dunno...Maybe,something are meant to be,forcing make not much changes too! Dun be too hard on yourself too,try to relax and let nature take its course...Just dun stress and mixes everything up..Actually,it shouldn't be your business to care but somehow,you just got yourself/found yourself being dragged in..LOLs! I dunno wad the hell...I am talking abt..RUBBISH? ahhahhas(; hope not...Just few words to summaries...
Anyway today was a fine day,wasn't really hot but still the weather is still(normally hot)...LOLS!
Somehow,the temperature this few days have been getting worst,sometimes cold and sometimes hot! And the haze was terrible,I wonder will we die of suffocation?hahahhas...Crazy right,but maybe!? I really cant stand the smell that reeked my class for this two days,gosh,it suck! It's like killing the damn lung of yours inside...Like a slow death medicine...Dun inhale that much?!!
Today,was tiring too~Lots to do(; But fun to...Learning more things,may sometimes make one self happy...Oh ya,today afternoon,was chatting with the 'LV' clique and oh gosh,leaked out some of my secrets but hahahs,they are all good ppl/frens..So no worries! The only bad thing abt chatting is too much of talks! Understand? Oh,btw,somehow,sometime when I type message,the other person just cant seems to understand the hack of wad I am saying? I also learnt that dun judge a book by its cover and that's really true!!!(; Also,Kelly toh,taught me how to be a better person(the bad points are actually a good point,just look into it)!! Sometimes,she could really say much abt logic's things/words...GBY~(;
Cya,take care and goodbye! Goodnight too,sweet dreams....Tagtagtag~~

2009-03-04T19:31:00.007+08:00

Sorry!
Today,I did something wrong,i think~~Sometimes,I just didn't use my brain to think before saying anything,my tone were quite harsh today!! AHHH~~.I wonder who's the victim this time,ahhahas,luckily,I did control !
Oh gosh,I just love to talk craps..Okay,today went to study/chat with Melissa and jieying,we'll all crazy talking abt (dressing up and you knw what a girl can say~~blah blah) Then,we got real excited while eating the fries with the Oreo ice-cream...As Melissa just love eating the combination of it~~It makes everyone happy..Btw today will be a short short post,cause I really have no time!.........How long it's gonna take for me to have the courage?How far is the distance between us?How long will this last? No one knws,maybe god knws what I'm trying to say~Since it took me a long time to decide,therefore,I am not going down that fast!! Also,I found out that our sch really is OMG! Cause,rules gonna change,and many new rules that is not really suitable for us!!LOls!,wonder is it good to change the sch rule/adding more to it....Anyway,I'm gonna leave this year and never to come back,only maybe for some occasions....But but,,,,I pity those who just came to our sch...Rules gonna change leh! ahahhahs(; that's all i think,not much to post too~Ya,i shld engage with some sports next week,Frisbee training...next Wednesday!
Something shld be hidden for as long as it can be!

Craps or logic?
Who know what your last words/phrase would be at the last moment of your life?Thus,I have learnt that we should say whatever we think(good one)to the one we want at the first time and right time! Cause maybe that's our last moment of life...........
Who know,who will you be with when you're dying,your last moment? Maybe,your enemies or friends or families,so I believe we shouldn't have lots of enemies as you wish to have your friends and families and not enemies around you(;RIGHT? Lastly,I want to say......why waste our time everyday,the clock ticking and the minutes moving nearer to the end of our life? So we should live to the fullest everyday and every seconds,either with friends or families and also if you've enemies,you should try to work it out and try to be friends.I believe no one could be enemy with anyone for years till the day you die?No right?,you will not wish to have any enemy till the day your life end?If you want,I encourage you to go IMH!! ahahhahas(; Just kidding,anyway,believe it or not..While you're reading this,you tends to think about the people around you and the days you've wasted--not telling hw you feel abt that person or thing! Care more,do more,feel more,speak more and interact more,not a difficult job,it's just doing more...You've nothing to lose but when you do all this,you gain lots more than you could imagine..As you must live like there's no tomorrow!~~
hahahas,in the end posted a long long post cause I love talking craps or maybe life philosophy(;
Take care and no regrets,okay?Byebye~~

2009-03-02T22:10:00.002+08:00

Tiring!!!!
Today lesson was relaxing but after I reached home,I was damn stressed up! Due to the tons of homework I have and you knw we have to login to the HS portal to do the CME thingy...The worse was that after I submitted my answer,I saw that the deadline was today 12noon!! I was like wad the hell...Spend my time doing yet wasted everything.I could have done something with this period of time~Lols! Taught me a lesson,to see before I do anything..It's a form of wasting my precious time(: AHHH! I have been complaining of having not enough time to do my things yet I wasted my time on others things..hahahhas..I could only say:' I'm blind'.;( Really quite pissed off by myself..If it was you,wad will you feel..?!!? I had a funny question I wanted to ask today,care to know abt it? It goes...
Why I dun wanna meet you then you'll appear,but when I wanted to see you,you disappear?..I think most ppl gone through this before but wad's the reason behind it? Is it because our brain tell us to notice him or maybe it's just fated to be this way? Anyway,I will stop here and give you all the time to think abt it,thus,goodnight and (GBY?)...ahhahas,make a guess!!~(; Cya,hoping to talk to you asap!

2009-02-27T22:58:00.002+08:00

Can I dun be that stupid?
Something ended long time ago,will not be the same if you notice it carefully!I regretted the first step I made but also I am not..Confusing right? I dun even knw the right choice now..I'm thinking abt it..Years passes by,human beings changes too..It's stupid to think they are still the innocent one..Open your eyes big before everything falls and crumble down..It's just doesn't worth ur effort doing so~Doubt abt it,that's the way! Maybe it's just not meant to be this way..I had a prefect plan but will it work out like how I plan..Maybe yes but also maybe not!Who knows?Huh..huh..huh!!Lols!
Btw,today was cross-country and know wad,I ran but get in 10th place..Depressed by the result and also english paper marks! Haiz,dun talk abt it........But something make me crazy,or actually craziness could make me forgets everything just for that moment,thus I will not be so stressed up and confused!I'm crazy you can say but I'll never act like one crazy woman without a good reason..Think before saying,that's the way I'll react..Who cares btw...?Enough is enough..So i shall stop here..Lastly,I think we ought to thanks Mr ang for the cakes and everything..After all,HE'S a GOOD teacher!! I mean it..~ Blessing to everyone..Bye!

2009-02-26T16:12:00.004+08:00

Wow,ELIS CHEN YOU DID IT!
Success is wad I can say..Today planning and surprises were a total success(: And finally,I could put my heart down and thus REST!! Have been working on it for 3 long and tiring days but after seeing their expressions,everything is worth it~Anyway,wanna know abt how the plan goes?.......................
Firstly:Passed around a small paper to all classmates and requested them to write some wishes then I will tied them up together..
Secondly:PE lesson was before recess so I told the teacher about the plan and asked him if we could be release early by 5 min and also help me to gather them around..
Thirdly:Went looking for Mr ang...After he came,I and Jieying took the cake from the canteen to the celebration wall and know wad?......They were all stunned and surprised!! Look at steph expression,I am overjoy~Too excited!
Lastly:They started singing happy birthday song and then cutting of cake and also giving of presents..After finishing the cake everyone went off to have their lunch or breakfast(not sure)~~ Btw,I'm glad that steph was really shocked abt the cake or maybe she knew it?(I hope not)..Happy birthday frens and also happy belated birthday to frens!! All the best and hope you have enjoyed everything we planned...
I'll be going out soon,meeting steph and zhenqi at bishan for our dinner and also 'celebration'!! So gtg...BYE(;

2009-02-25T23:12:00.001+08:00

I on the com now just to wish steph a advance happy birthday as to after 12a.m will be her birthday!Firstly,I repeat
Happy 17th birthday steph~~
Secondly,I wanna thanks her for everything she done for me and many more..Lots of thanks,no words can describe!!Anyway,I simply love her and I promise to dote my this kind little fren(steph)..And really sorry for being nasty sometimes(most of the time) but still deep down you are my fren,really!! Thirdly,I wanna wish that everything she wishes for will come true and of course score 6A1s for o-level~~May she stop spraining her ankle and also dun let her fall down every time..Plus,be careful while crossing..Look at the cars FIRST!! hahhaas(; There's lots if I will to list down here..After all,we have been frens for 4 years plus adn I really appreciate that our friendship lasted so long..definitely,I want it to be eternity...Will you have this long journey with me,will you walk this path with me,will you look me into the eyes and tell me ELIS CHEN please wake up when I am day-dreaming...Actually,our friendship have been higher up to another level,a level of sisterhood..And sometimes,I would just love to be the younger sister,playing a fool of you..I hope you dun mind,will you forgive me? But from now on,I'll let you be the younger one,okay?hehhe(;We eat tgt,share tgt,walk tgt and chat tgt? ahhahhas!!! Okay,I think I soon will go out of point so I shall stop here!! Happy birthday steph...GOODNIGHT!! Have the sweetest dream tonight and wake up full of energy!!! Everyone wait for the clock till it's 12am,then you pick up your phone and message sent to steph...Easy right so just do it!!! I Love you~~~~~ Best frens/sis/everything!

2009-02-24T18:13:00.006+08:00

A day again~
Was real busy today!Had lots of things to do~Oh gosh,I wonder how I'm going to take to finish everything...Planning,studying,doing and reading!Anyway,my legs still aches like hell! Can't run for a while,resting my thigh muscle..Lols! Boring days~Heard from Mr ang that cross-country is on Friday,I was overjoy as my aim for this year is be the first to complete the race but I am afraid that my muscle aches will pull me down.I'll still try my very best,even though I might not have a great chance of winning,I will complete the race.Cause that's the spirit!Millions of cell moving in my brain,thinking about plans and blah blah,more and more!Thinking things everyday,will I become crazy?I hope not! Hahahahs(: I'm hungry,craving for food now!! But loss my appetite when I look at the food...LOLS!Erm,I eat or I starve to death? Of course,I will eat or I should gobble all my food up! Shall send steph the photo as soon as possible..But...is it even possible?hahahahahas(; Just remind me! I'm getting older so poorer memory....That's all for today,got to do my work now~Blessing ;) Good evening!

Out------------------------In
1.Concentration-------1.More brain cells
2.Raining Days-------2.Umbrella
3.Places---------------3.Near AMK?

2009-02-23T19:31:00.002+08:00

Out--------------------In
1.Worksheets--------1.Do,do,do!
2.Presents-----------2.Think
3.Courses------------3.Nearer

Will update soon,I'm too tired today..sorry!

2009-02-22T21:31:00.006+08:00

Will tiredness kill?
Tired yet have to posts about today or else today gonna end soon in about 2 hours plus~
Okay, as usually had tuition in the morning(same old 11am)!! Then when on to catch a movie with my mum(Benjamin button)..Btw,I had lots of homework to complete by next Sunday!! Hahahs,crazy crazy,no time~~ And other than that,I had to finish reading my book,in order to lend it to my fren..(: Hahahs,my time,my plan is in a total mess now..Busy is what I can really say!Anyway,gonna plan everything from today,start to have a time-table and many other thing to manage my work(in a orderly manner)..I dun wanna be messy~~LOLS! Oh,also,wanna tell my theory again...Ready to hear? Nvm,I'll start even if you dun...
Theory Time!!
Believe that not matter how tired you are,you are still running in the track..But why are you still in the track when you're tired? To show off or just to prove yourself?Anyway,no rights or wrongs!! Another one,we are always keeping up on fashion(latest fashion)..WHY?..1) Not to let ppl look down..2) To prove you're beautiful? 3) Just to show that I'm in the latest trend?...Hahahhas,is competing stupid or fun? I dunno,up to you..That's all for my damn lame theory..That's what in my mind now so I just spilt it out!! Oh ya,I wanna rate the movie I watched(Benjamin button)..A show about life,totally from young to old-old to young!Worth watching~~ Make you feel sour from the start! It's like watching a live-story..It's a pity if you didn't watch it..Watch it now,no regrets..I think today gone too far,far off my topic of posting so I shall stop here and good night everybody!! Bye and school starts at 8am every morning!! Blessing to everyone out there~~AHHH~

Out------------------------------In
1.Noodles -----------------1.Rice
2.Nagging -----------------2.Patient
3.Time ---------------------3. Time-table

2009-02-21T15:46:00.001+08:00

2009-02-20T20:42:00.014+08:00

It was sport's day today!!

Fun,excited and full of adrenaline through my body..First was house competition(4 x 100)!!Everyone were nervous,hahha,but we used the super-teen skills called the 'I believed' and also the 'visualisation'..It really do work,we got second for the race,a silver medal!! Good effort to every Neptune's member~~We really do make it happen..Secondly,cca competition(4 x 100)...I was like dying as this race starts merely right after the first one..Lols(; But still we came in third (Yippee)~Lastly,the climax of all the other race---THE CLASS RACES---Divided into upper sec and lower sec~We are 5A1 so we are in the upper sec group,there were like 8 group of them..Lols,then tension started to run up to my body..Okay,was tired so my nervousness was lessen by my tiredness (; But still I did my best,ran like hell and finally passed the baton to my classmate and there she go,dash!!Super power,that's the first time I saw her running that fast..Applauds~~She is really miracle,man~! Then steph and then jasmine..We were coming in third but was disqualified as the last player accidentally stepped the line..But nvm,she did her best,like us..And I knw we all wanted it badly,although there's not gonna be a next year,we will still continue to pursue our dream like how we run today!!ALL THE BEST FOR YOU ALL~ And i believed we are the best...Oh ya,there's still the teachers races..Mr Jude ang group won!!ahhahas(; Our form teacher,funniest and "lovable",cute teacher!! ahhahahas! Continue our spirit,I have only one phrase to say :'GO,GO,GO..As we believed we can do it!We the best..'

After race!

I went up to take photo with melissa,huiqi,june,jieying,kelly and of course steph!!Crazy shooting,okay,my idea..hahahas(;After that,we went to have our lunch together and then shop around..Lols,they are really very funny,joke around all the time..I think every moment,every second,they are thinking about jokes! Then steph went home as she was feeling unwell,I think because of the hot weather(sunny!!)(while taking the medal,we nearly became roasted MONKEY!,they shld build a shelter lor.)..Anyway,get well and dun fall sick till you are unable to come school or you gonna skip many lessons..hhehe~Oh,everyone out there,wish you all have a good health and dun fall sick!Weather is really damn hot,stay indoor as possible!!Take care and bye bye (; It's wonderful today!

OUT------------------------------IN

1.Road crossing ---------1.With care

2.Hacking care ---------2.Care more

3.Muscle ache ---------3.Days to recover

2009-02-19T19:03:00.009+08:00

Super teen! Memorable!
Hhahahs,anyway..Let me start talking a little about this programme~~At first,I didn't really think this programme is wonderful nor meaningful at all but somehow after 3 days of learning,I really found myself enjoying and also get to know myself,my family,studies.......lots more~~I think anyone that had been going for that training will know hw it feel like!! There's lots of skills which you could apply it in ur future life,so work on it~~And the good news is,I had finally set my goals which I had always didn't bother to..I wanna be a business-woman(; It's fantastic~~It's hard not knowing ur goal so set ur goal,aim for it and strive it right at the first time!! Also,other than yourself,you have to care about ppl around you too..No one know what's going to happen next~Treasure Treasure and Treasure!! There's still the anger control thingy,after that,I had learnt to control my temper well but I want it to last forever and not just 3 days!! I start to change the way i talk when I am angry and also in a softer tone(; That's great for me! As everyone called me a "LOUDSPEAKER" heheheh(; Heaven good news?What's more,I really start to miss the lesson..Some laughter's which you dun usually hear and also funny style which you dun normally see~~That's more but everything come to an end,they come and also they leave(; But never be sad if you know you going to work hard after they leave as you will not feel any regrets for yourself!!RIGHT? Happiness always pass in a twinkle of an eye~But I love it..Erm,I think that's all..If i continue,I am going to write 2 pages of it and the ore you write,the more mistake you make;P Last but not least,I wanna thanks them as they had really taught us the real meaning of most of the thing..They look younger each day? hehehhe!!! So i shall end here for my learning in super teen course..They will be back soon,with ninja turtle and LOLS!
Hhahhas,I shall now posts about today life~
Oh gosh,today was tiring but yet apply a lots of thing and words taught by super teen member..
Examples: "you dun point at me or shout at me,I will say: 'Action has consequences'!!
"You are gay or you are short,they will say:'what you say is what you get'!
Making me laugh at all time...oh,the most funniest one was....The clapping!!! Yippees~~
Hhahahhas(; My class is still in their childhood,that's why we are all very young!!! WE ARE ABSOLUTELY CUTE!